Thumbs: Guess who you're interviewing. Lava Pir-

(Dark Koopa runs out of the studio.)

Thumbs: I know a new trick.

Pink: Oh no you don't. You're doing this Interview.

(Pink grabs Dark Koopa and bounds him to the interviewer chair.)

Dark Koopa: You can't do this to me!

Pink: I can and will.

(Dark Koopa tries hopping out of the studio still bound to the chair. Pink drags him back onstage.)

Dark Koopa: Nooo!

Pink: If you move again, I'll pretend you don't like Yoshis.

Lemmy: You don't have to make him do it if you don't want to.

Pink: But I DO want to.

Lemmy: Okay. Proceed.

Pink: Say it.

Dark Koopa: No.

Pink: Say it or else.

Dark Koopa: Or else what?

(Pink starts smashing a macaroni picture.)

Dark Koopa: Nooo! I made that in kindergarten!

Pink: You want first grade to be next?

Dark Koopa: Fine. I'll say it. Today I interview Lava Papapa.

Thumbs: Lava Piranha.

Dark Koopa: No!

Lava Piranha: HI!

Dark Koopa: AHH! Please don't eat me!

Lava Piranha: EAT YOU?! I DON'T EAT- WAIT... MAYBE I WILL! NOW YOU BETTER START ASKING QUESTIONS!

Dark Koopa: Okay! Just don't hurt me! What do you to eat? Please don't say Koopas. Please don't say Koopas.

Lava Piranha: KOOPAS! ESPECIALLY DARK KOOPAS!

Dark Koopa: What did I do to deserve this?!

Lava Piranha: I'M GETTING REALLY HUNGRY NOW!

Dark Koopa: *sniff* Goodbye world!

(Lava Piranha opens his mouth.)

Lava Piranha: Calm down, man. I was just playing. You don't have to be scared of me. I don't eat Koopas. I EAT YOSHIS!

Pink: What?

Dark Koopa: Hey! That's not funny!

Lava Piranha: I COULD ALWAYS CHANGE MY EATING WAYS!

Dark Koopa: Please don't!

Roy: This guy is a total coward.

(Roy runs onto the stage and punches Dark Koopa in the stomach.)

Roy: I used to idolize you!

(Roy runs out of the studio, crying.)

Dark Koopa: Why am I being tortured?

Lava Piranha: INTERVIEW ME, NOW!

Dark Koopa: Alright! Why did Bowser decide to make you stronger with the Star Rod?

Lava Piranha: I WAS THE STRONGEST PIRANHA PLANT EVER SINCE I GAINED MY FIRE POWERS!

Dark Koopa: How did you gain these fire powers?

Lava Piranha: THIS MAGIKOOPA NAMED WIZARDHIEMER USED SOME SPELL TO FUSE A PUTRID PIRANHA WITH A LAVA BUBBLE, CREATING ME!

Dark Koopa: Why doesn't Winstonhiemer-

Wizardhiemer: Wizardhiemer!

Dark Koopa: -make more of these fusions?

Thumbs: Don't you pay attention in your Interviews?

Dark Koopa: No. I don't even write this stuff down.

(Dark Koopa shows the audience a blank notepad.)

Thumbs: Well, if you did, you'd know that Wedgiehiemer's wand was eaten by Yoshi, and it prevented him from using his powerful spells.

Dark Koopa: Did you say something? I wasn't paying attention.

Thumbs: Oh, I give up.

Dark Koopa: Why do you always talk so loudly?

Lava Piranha: EVERYONE KNOWS THAT PEOPLE TALK LOUD WHEN THEY WANT TO SOUND SMART!

Pink: THAT'S RIGHT!

Dark Koopa: I'm surrounded by idiots.

Yellow: I heard that!

Dark Koopa: I think I'll add another row of seats in the audience.

Yellow: Nooo!

Dark Koopa: Speaking of which, it's time for audience questions. Seat 72.

Morton: Where did those Lava Buds come from? The fiery, large-

Lava Piranha: THEY USED TO BE MY ARMS, BUT THEY GREW HEADS WHEN BOWSER MADE ME MORE POWERFUL WITH THE STAR ROD!

Dark Koopa: Seat 1.

Lemmy: Don't you have some sort of rivalry with Pink?

Lava Piranha: YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT! PINK RUINED MY PLAN TO TAKE OVER YOSHI'S VILLAGE AFTER MARIO LEFT! I'LL GET HER FOR THAT!

Lemmy: How are you going to do that?

(Lava Piranha eats Pink.)

Lemmy: Oh.

Pink: So this is where I left my cell phone.

Bowser (from the cellphone): WAZZUP!

Dark Koopa: Oh no. I'm next. I have to get out of here!

(Dark Koopa tries to hop out of the studio again, but the chair falls down.)

Dark Koopa: Can someone help me up?

Lava Piranha: OKAY!

Dark Koopa: AHH! Not you! *sigh* I guess I'll just finish the Interview. Seat 4.

Spike Top: How come only Lava Buds can spit out Petit Piranhas?

Lava Piranha: I CAN SPIT THEM OUT TOO! IT'S JUST THAT THAT'S THEIR ONLY ATTACK AND IT'S STRONGER WHEN THEY DO IT ANYWAY!

Dark Koopa: Seat 98.

Kooper: Why were you toying with Mario at first?

Lava Piranha: I WASN'T! I CAN ONLY SET MYSELF ON FIRE WHEN I'M ANGRY!

Dark Koopa: All my blood is rushing to my head... Seat 65.

Sushie: Got any weaknesses?

Lava Piranha: YOU KNOW I'M WEAK TO WATER!

Pink: Hey, that's right.

(Pink squirts Lava Piranha, who melts around her into a graffiti puddle, similar to the way Petey Piranha does.)

Dark Koopa: Woohoo! You killed him!

Ludwig: No matter. I will revive him with my new invention.

Dark Koopa: Pink, can you please kill Ludwig too?

Pink: Okay!

(Pink starts beating up Ludwig.)

Dark Koopa: That's all we have for today.

Yellow: Wooey!

Dark Koopa: That's what I was going to say.

Thumbs: End transmission.

Several hours later...

Dark Koopa: Hello? I'm still tied to this chair! This is so unfair...