Dark Koopa: *points to title* Who's responsible for this?

(Lemmy starts chuckling.)
 
Thumbs: Today Dark and I are interviewing Naval Pirahna, because Dark doesn't like to interview Pirahna Plants alone.

Dark Koopa: Don't change the subject. I want to know why your name comes first.

Pink: Hey! It's the guy who tried to eat me!

Naval: Hey! It's the girl who tried to kill me!

Dark Koopa: Hey! Can we get back to the important things?

Thumbs: Thank you, Dark.

Dark Koopa: Like this title, my name should be first.

Navel: Gee, what an ego.

Dark Koopa: I heard that.

Thumbs: Oye. Anyway, first question: How come you're so different from regular Pirahnas?

Navel: Well, I'm in charge of all Piranhas. Plus Kamek's magic made me grow bigger.

Dark Koopa: Where'd those Piranha buds come from?

Naval: They used to be my arms, but Kamek's magic turned them into buds.

Thumbs: What do you like to eat?

Dark Koopa: Don't ask that!

Naval: Usually Nippers.

Dark Koopa: Phew.

Naval: -and Koopas and Yoshis.

Dark Koopa: AHH!

Waluigi: Wah!

Thumbs: Why did you make your weakness so obvious?

Naval: It's not my fault, I got a nasty bruise from jumping into that water. Who knew it was so shallow?

(Half the audience raises their hands.)

Naval: Oh, who asked you?

Dark Koopa: How did you get on that bridge thing?

Naval: I can actually jump. That's how I got in charge of the Pirahna Plants.

Thumbs: So how come you fought Yoshi on a bridge over water?
 
Naval: I thought I could shove him in the water and drown him.

Thumbs: Is it also true that your wife left you for John Kerry?

Naval: ...

Dark Koopa: ...

Thumbs: Whoops, wrong Interview questions. Eheh.

Dark Koopa: Sometimes I wonder...

Thumbs: Okay, I got the right ones now. Though I can't imagine who would be able to switch them on me.

(Pink and Lemmy start chuckling.)

Thumbs: Now, what's your relation to Petey Pirahna?

Naval: He's my son.

Dark Koopa: Explains the identical weaknesses.

(Thumbs drops a piano on Luigi before he can do anything)

Dark Koopa: ... Right. Is it true that Kamek hates you?

Naval: Yeah. I used to pick on him a lot when we were younger. He was forced to make me bigger by Baby Bowser, but Kamek still "accidentally" gave Yoshi a hint on how to beat me.

Thumbs: ... He did?

Naval: Yeah, when he said "you egg-throwing" something. Plus, it was kinda obvious you had to riccochet the eggs off the opposite wall, or else you'd have an incredibly hard time beating me in the game.

Thumbs: Oh yeah. Of course... One second, please.

(Thumbs rushes out of the room, and some Yoshi's Island game sounds can be heard from the other room.)

Dark Koopa: Well, I guess it's time for audience questions. Seat 49.

Arnold S: I WILL TERMINATE YOU, JON STEWART!

Lemmy: Hey! He stole my line!

(Dark Koopa and Thumbs can be seen chuckling.)

Thumbs: Oh yeah, and I just beat Naval Piranha!

Naval: Huh?

Lemmy: Revenge! Reveeeenge!

Dark Koopa: Seat 34.

Peach: Why were you in Tetris Attack?

Naval: Although Kamek hates me, Bowser doesn't. He gave me a cushy position in Tetris Attack if I helped him.

Thumbs: Seat 8.

Ludwig: Why did you spit out those Nippers? If you didn't, Yoshi probably wouldn't have beat you.
 
Naval: When I hit the wall, the seeds got lodged in my throat. I had to spit them out before I choked.

Dark Koopa: Seat 63

Flareon: How come you kept on saying "babeh" in Tetris Attack?

Naval: It's fun to say. Babeh.

Thumbs: Babeh? Babeh babeh babeh. Hey, it is kinda fun. Babeh.

Naval: No fair! It's my catch phrase!

Dark Koopa: Seat 188.

Mr Game and Watch: Beep!

Dark Koopa: Kill!

(A safe falls on MGAW.)

Thumbs: Seat 15.

Larry: Why haven't you appeared in many games?

Naval: I can't leave Yoshi's island. That's where my roots are.

Thumbs: Then how did you get here?

Naval: ... If I told you that, then I'm afraid I'd have to kill you.

Thumbs: Sure you would. Any more questions, Dark?

Dark Koopa: Just one. Whose name do you think should go first in the title?

Thumbs: Enough with that! We have to settle this once and for all.

Dark Koopa: Yes.

Thumbs: One on one.

Dark Koopa: Man to man.

Thumbs: No quarter asked, no quarter given.

Dark Koopa: My thoughts exactly.

Thumbs: Now give me a quarter

Dark Koopa: Here ya go.

Later at the arcade...

Thumbs: Hah! I got you now!

Dark Koopa: That's what you think. Take that!

Thumbs: Oh yeah!

Manager: Um, guys? You've been on that same machine for three hours. You have to give someone else a turn!

Dark Koopa: Hm, I wonder whatever happened back at the studio.

Meanwhile at the studio...

Pink: (singing) Jimmy cracked corn and I don't care...

Naval: Oh DAD! Make it stop!!!

Lemmy: End transmission already!

Later...

Naval: Excuse me.

Dark Koopa: Yes?

Naval: I forgot to do something.

Dark Koopa: What?

Naval: This.

(Naval Piranha eats Dark Koopa.)

Dark Koopa: ARGH! That's it! I'm never interviewing a Piranha Plant again! Hey, a nickel!