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DARK KOOPA AND PINK interview LUIGI
 
By Pink Yoshi and Dark Koopa
>

Pink: ... Hey, is this thing on?

Dark Koopa: No. We don't use microphones.

Pink: K.

Dark Koopa: You're stupid, arent you?

Pink: WHAT DID YOU J-

Iggy: Welcome to Lemmy's Interview Show!

Lemmy: ... You aren't Lemmy.

Ludwig: Welcome to Lemmy's In-

Lemmy: ... You aren't Lemmy either.

Larry: Wel-

Lemmy: ...

Larry: DONT GIVE ME THAT LOOK!

Lemmy: ... Anyway, welcome to Le-

Pink: Yeah yeah, we get it already. And today, we're interviewing Luigi! Since Thumbs has a fever.

(Thumbs is seen in bed with a bag of ice on his forehead, then he glares at the camera.)

Dark Koopa: Where is Luigi, anyway?

Peach: I'm right here!

Pink: ... You're Peach.

Peach: ... I'm wearing the Peach suit again, aren't I?

Mario: It's-a true!

Peach: ... Hold on.

(Peach walks offstage, and Luigi comes out.)

Luigi: Sorry about that.

Pink: You have problems.

Lemmy: I agree!

Iggy: You're not Iggy.

Dark Koopa: Well, my first question would be, how do you feel about Thumbs dropping heavy objects on you?

Luigi: That makes me angry!

Pink: Then let's hear your warcry.

Luigi: Gagagagaga.

Pink: That was terrible...

(Thumbs comes out and drops a concrete block on Luigi's head.)

Thumbs: Shut up! I'm trying to sleep!

(Thumbs leaves.)

Luigi: Gagagagaga.

Pink: Was that his warcry again?

Dark Koopa: No, I think he's just weak in the head.

Pink: Well anyway, how do you feel about Mario always getting the fame?

Luigi: He isn't getting all the fame anymore! Remember in Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door, everybody thought I was the bomb? Go ME!

Pink: ... Not everybody played that game.

Luigi: Well, play it and see my awesomeness!

Pink: You're so full of yourself now that you've had a shread of spotlight!

Luigi: Thank you ver-

Pink: No. Next question.

Dark Koopa: What is the difference between you and Mario in attributes?

Luigi: I can jump higher, I'm smarter, and I'm taller. Mario's fatter, smaller, a bit faster, and a bit stronger.

Pink: What's it like having Waluigi as a rival?

Luigi: Well, he's not too much competition.

Waluigi: Wah!

Dark Koopa: Why don't you appear in games like Mario 64 and Mario Sunshine?

Luigi: I'm not in Super Mario Sunshine because I was the one watching over the house me and Mario live in while Mario took a vacation after being trapped in that painting in the so-called mansion I "won".

Pink: And Mario 64?

Luigi: I got lost in a supermarket while shopping with Yoshi. I was there for 14 hours! Yoshi just left me there!

Dark Koopa: What's the deal with you and Daisy?

Luigi: ... Well...

Pink: Well?

(Pink holds her hands in fists behind her back.)

Luigi: I'm not telling you!

Pink: May I?

Dark Koopa: Go ahead.

(Pink started to punch Luigi until he wets his pants.)

Luigi: Aw, you made me wet my pants!

Pink: Duh.

Luigi: Fine, I'll tell you... Ever since she came along, everyone thought she was my answer to Mario's Peach, and everyone called us a nice couple... So we went along with it, I guess.

Pink: Awr.

Luigi: DONT MOCK ME!

Pink: Who said I was mocking you?

Dark Koopa: Anyway, how do you think you fare in those games such as Mario Kart, Golf, Tennis, and Party?

Luigi: Good.

Dark Koopa: Not the answer I was looking for.

Luigi: Well, for the most part, I have the same stats as Mario. And he's like the best player, right?

Pink: Not really.

Luigi: Well, who asked you?!

Dark Koopa: Um, you.

Pink: He's right.

Luigi: Well, I have a short attention span!

Dark Koopa: Really?

Luigi: What was the question again?

Pink: Oh.

Dark Koopa: Well anyway, why do you wear green?

Luigi: Because Mario got the good color! Everyone calls me a pickle!

(Mario sticks his tongue out.)

Pink: Does that mean your favorite color is red?

Luigi: Blue.

Pink: ... Then why dont you wear blue?

Luigi: Blue? I like red! But I'm forced to wear green because Mario got the GOOD color!

Pink: ... K. How do you feel about everyone knowing that you're a scaredy cat because of the scenes of you screaming in Luigi's Mansion?

Luigi: How do I feel about it? Scared! Wah!

Waluigi: Wah! Times two!

Pink: Ugh...

Dark Koopa: Why are your fireballs green?

Luigi: It's not actually fire. It's rotten cheese.

Pink: Remind me to kill him when this Interview's over.

Dark Koopa: Sure thing.

Luigi: What's wrong with rotten cheese?

Pink: It's moldy.

Dark Koopa: It isn't pleasant to eat either.

(Pink moves away.)

Pink: How do you feel about Bowser? Seems to me Mario's more of an enemy to you than him.

Luigi: I could beat Bowser if someone actually gave me the chance. High jumping RULES!

Pink: I bet I can jump higher.

Luigi: OH YEAH?!

Pink: YEAH!

(Luigi jumps and flutters, but Pink keeps on going because she can fly, and crashes into the ceiling.)

Luigi: Jumping too high can be dangerous sometimes too.

Dark Koopa: Told you she's a moron.

Pink: Who said that?!

Galvar: Pacific Bell?

Pink: How do you keep getting in here? Anyway, die!

(Pink chases Galvar out of the studio.)

Dark Koopa: Has E. Gadd made any other inventions for you besides that stupid vacuum?

Luigi: Yeah. These cool jet boots.

(Luigi activates the boots and runs right into the ceiling like Pink did earlier. Pink comes back in.)

Pink: How did he say that when his head is in the ceiling?

Luigi: E. Gadd also gave me a muffled voice translator.

Pink: Greeat...

Dark Koopa: That's all we have for today.

Pink: Interview over?

Dark Koopa: Yup.

Pink: Good.

Luigi: I'm still stuck in the ceiling! Gagagaga!

(Luigi gets unstuck and flies out of the studio. Unfotunately, he runs right into a stop sign.)

Luigi: Ow...

Pink: There you are!

(Pink starts beating up Luigi.)

Dark Koopa: These beatings at the end of every Interview are getting old and annoying.

Pink: What was that?

Dark Koopa: Nothing, continue.

Lemmy: Whawhohahahaha!

Ludwig: Hey!

Dark Koopa: End transmission.

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