Dark Koopa: I told you I'd break out of jail for that thing I did.

Lemmy: Then why are you still here?

Dark Koopa: I did that thing... again.

Lemmy: Oh.

Dark Koopa: Well, since only the Koopalings are here for tickling the president, I'll have to interview one of them. I choose Roy because he has the decency not to completely copy my look, although I may regret it.

Roy: Aw, shaddup please.

Dark Koopa: Please? Well, um, why do you wear those sunglasses anyway?

Roy: I have bad vision but I don't wear regular glasses. They look dorky. I found out that sunglasses look pretty cool on Dark Koopas, so I wore them too.

Dark Koopa: It's about time someone credited us for starting this trend. Anyway, how did your vision become so poor?

Roy: When I was younger, Lemmy pointed a laser pointer in my eyes a lot.

Lemmy: Hey, I remember that.

(Lemmy takes out his laser pointer and starts blinding his siblings.)

Iggy: I can finally see without my glasses!

(Lemmy points the laser in Iggy's eyes.)

Iggy: Scratch that.

***

Thumbs: I can't take this.

Pink: Jimmy cracked corn and I don't care.

Thumbs: I don't see how anyone can put up with her.

Pink: I have a staff made of ice.

***

Dark Koopa: Why do you bully around your siblings?

Roy: I didn't used to. It's the Mario Bros' fault. They stopped me from bullying around anyone else. Even the guys on the Koopas' side.

Dark Koopa: Why is your head and shell pink?

Roy: (whispering) I painted them. Pink is my favorite color.

Dark Koopa: It's nothing to be ashamed of. I know this guy who liked the color pink and- Never mind. He killed himself because everyone made fun of him.

Roy: Eek!

Dark Koopa: You seem nicer than usual.

Roy: I'm really a sensitive guy. I'm just misunderstood. My dad expects me to bully others. Sometimes he even forces me.

***

Thumbs: What's with this random transition? Go back to the Interview.

***

Dark Koopa: Why were you given Sky Land?

Roy: Um... I uh...

Wendy: He loves clouds.

Roy: Oh, it's true! I love clouds. They're so fluffy. It's such an inspiration. And I love all the cloud minions like Lakitu and Ruff Puff.

Dark Koopa: You're sensitive side is starting to disturb me.

Roy: Would you rather I act like myself and pound you into a pulp?

Dark Koopa: No! Please! I mean, I guess I can deal with your sensitivity. But that doesn't mean I still couldn't take you.

Roy: Aww shaddup!

Dark Koopa: That reminds me. Why do you speak with a New Yorker accent?

Roy: I watch Mafia movies a lot. I was fascinated by them from a young age.

***

Thumbs: Stop it!

***

Dark Koopa: I hope I don't offend you with this, but why are you so dumb?

Roy: Because I'm big and strong.

Dark Koopa: I don't understand.

Roy: How many big, burly guys do you know that are also smart? Very few. I know that much.

Dark Koopa: Ooh, now I get it. How did the walls close in on your room in Mario World?

Roy: I had a remote control that could close them in.

Dark Koopa: Why didn't you just close them almost all the way in at the start?

Roy: There was a large sequence of buttons I had to press. It took some time to do it.

Dark Koopa: Why were you in a hot air balloon in Yoshi's Safari?

Roy: Why do ya think?

Dark Koopa: Oh right. The clouds. Why were you given Forest of Illusion?

Roy: I wanted it. The fact that I rule an area that can confuse others made me feel smarter.

Ludwig: My invention is finally completed! Whawhohahaha!

Morton: That's wonderful, terrific, excellent, stupendous- Oww!

Larry: What's your invention, Ludwig?

Ludwig: The most adavanced piece of technology the Koopa Troop has ever seen! A nail filer!

Iggy: Cool!

(Ludwig taps the wall with the filer, and the wall crumbles because the jail has a low budget. The Koopalings run out through the hole made.)

Dark Koopa: I think I'll stay. I need a break from Pink. See you next time on-

Lemmy: Lemmy's Interview Show!

Dark Koopa: Oh, I can't resist an escape.

(Dark Koopa runs through the hole.)

Crimewave Clyde: Hey! I can finally escape this place!

(A brick falls on Crimewave Clyde, knocking him out.)

Dark Koopa: How convenient. I'm usually the one hit by bricks.

(Dark Koopa gets hit with bricks from all directions.)

Dark Koopa: (from under the pile of bricks) I really need to learn when to shut up.

Roy: Yeah! Shaddup!

(Roy gets hit with a brick, knocking him out.)

Dark Koopa: End transmission.