Dark Koopa: Why am I in prison?

Thumbs: You beat up a politician.

Dark Koopa: Why are you here?

Pink: Visiting hours.

Dark Koopa: Why is Lemmy here?

Thumbs: He's in that scared straight program.

Lemmy: Lemmy's Interview Show!

Prisoner: What did you say to me, boy?!

Lemmy: May I interest you in some mouthwash?

Prisoner: Listen here, you scum! If I ever catch you in here I will kill you!

Lemmy: I'm in here now.

Prisoner: Well, uh...

Lemmy: This is boring. I'm going to play charades with Morton.

Dark Koopa: That's the last time I sleep on a bench in front of the police station wearing an "I Beat Up A Politician" shirt.

Pink: Guess who your cellmate is.

Dark Koopa: Crimewave Clyde?

Pink: No! I mean yes.

Crimewave Clyde: Not another Koopa! I hate Koopas!

Dark Koopa: That's nice. I'm going to interview you now. For reasons unknown. First question: How are you a Mario character?

Clyde: I appeared in the Mario cartoon episode Crimes 'R' Us.

Dark Koopa: So you're not a very important character?

Clyde: Why would I be? I didn't appear in any game or anything.

Dark Koopa: Why were you arrested in the first place?

Clyde: I killed a guy.

Dark Koopa: You know, Mario should be here. You don't wanna know how many Koopas whose death he's responsible for. Any other reasons?

Clyde: I also robbed a few places.

Dark Koopa: I bet you feel cool. But you'll never be as cool as me.

Clyde: *gets up* Well my fist says differently!

Dark Koopa: Sit down. Your fist doesn't say anything. Now, how long is your sentence?

Clyde: 849 years without parole.

Dark Koopa: Haha! I'm only in this dump overnight.

Thumbs: Actually, the warden says eight years.

Dark Koopa: What?! That's okay. I can escape. I am a Koopa after all.

Warden: I heard that!

Pink: Time to leave.

Dark Koopa: Curse you Tom Hanks!

Tom Hanks: What do I have to do with this?

Dark Koopa: Never mind. Why did you turn on the Koopalings?

Clyde: Because they're spoiled little brats. Also, they turned on me first. Ludwig chained a Bob-omb to my leg.

Dark Koopa: They were just having fun. And that's still no excuse to help the Mario Bros. Why did you?

Clyde: They told me my sentence would be dropped, but they lied. My sentence just increased.

Dark Koopa: Why are you bald?

Clyde: Because I'm kinda old. I'm 62.

Dark Koopa: Suprisingly, you don't look it.

Lemmy: How does sticking your foot out mean Scream 2? Morton's the worst character ever.

Clyde: AHH! Not a Koopaling!

Dark Koopa: Got a question, Lemmy?

Lemmy: Yeah. Why did you turn us?

Dark Koopa: Already asked that.

Lemmy: In that case, who's your favorite Koopaling?

Clyde: I hate you all very much, but I guess I hate Roy the least, since he broke me out of this place.

Dark Koopa: Well, that's all we have for today and you know what that means.

Lemmy: Lemmy's Interview Show?

Dark Koopa: No. It means the Koopalings get their revenge.

Lemmy: Oh. Good.

(The Koopalings beat Crimewave Clyde into a bloody pulp.)

Dark Koopa: See you next time when I break out on-

Lemmy: Lemmy's Interview Show!

Tom Hanks: End transmission.

Dark Koopa: Curse you, Tom Hanks!

Lemmy: TERMINATE YOU!