Thumbs: Contract.

Dark Koopa: What about it?

Thumbs: It says I get to interview someone.

Dark Koopa: Wait until I find out who wrote those contracts.

(Lemmy sneaks out of the studio for reasons unrelated to the contracts.)

Dark Koopa: Fine. Take your Interview. Off to some random room for me.

Pink: Where I will follow.

Thumbs: Hello and welcome to-

Lemmy: Lemmy's Interview Show!

Thumbs: Stupid plotholes. Anyway, today I interview Peach.

Peach: I love you all!

Audience: Boo!

Peach: Why, thank you.

Thumbs: Why do you love everything?

Peach: It's part of living life to the fullest, which I intend on doing.

Thumbs: If you love everything, why do you treat your servants so badly?

Peach: Not all my servants. Just Toad. And sometimes Wooster. I need to take out my anger on someone.

Thumbs: Do you even pay them?

Peach: Once in a while...

Thumbs: Who does your hair?

Peach: I do.

Thumbs: Get a hairdresser please. Your hair is awful.

Peach: Why does everyone think my new hairstyle is so bad?

Thumbs: Um, because it is.

***

Pink: Hello.

Dark Koopa: I already know where this is going.

Pink: I'm here to sing to you and solve your problems.

Dark Koopa: I don't have any problems, except you.

(Pink sits down next to Dark Koopa, carrying a guitar.)

Dark Koopa: Oh no.

Pink: Now, what to sing?

Dark Koopa: Can you move over? You're making me uncomfortable.

(Pink moves over closer.)

Dark Koopa: I meant the other way.

Pink: Right here is fine.

(Pink starts singing Jimmy Cracked Corn. Dark Koopa gets up and leaves.)

Pink: Feel better? Ah, your silence says it all.

(Pink continues singing to no one in particular.)

***

Thumbs: Why does it seem like you always let Bowser kidnap you?

Peach: I don't. Bowser is extremely crafty when it comes to kidnapping me.

Thumbs: How do you feel about Mario?

Peach: We're just friends! Really!

Thumbs: That's not what I've heard.

Peach: Haven't you ever played any of the Mario Parties? Half the time we're trying to kill each other for the sake of a few coins.

Thumbs: I'll give that to ya. Why do you always wear the same dress?

Peach: I don't, I just have several copies of it. I have it in green and purple as well. I just don't like those colors.

Thumbs: I don't like your taste in clothes either. Anyway, time for audience questions. Seat 6.

Wooster: Why are you so messy, dirty, etc?

Peach: I'm royalty, which makes me spoiled, which makes me not care if I make a mess.

Thumbs: Seat 3.

Lazy Cameraman: Why haven't you had a starring role in a non-sporting or party game other than Mario 2?

Thumbs: Do your job, stupid cameraman.

Lazy Cameraman: Read the name.

Peach: I would have more starring roles if Bowser wouldn't kidnap me so much. I can't be in two places at once.

Thumbs: Seat 29.

Russ T: Are you the Koopalings' mother?

Peach: Of course not! How could you think of such a thing?!

Thumbs: Seat 12.

Bowser: Do you love me?

Peach: As a friend.

Bowser: Darn.

Clawdia: What did you say?!

Bowser: Oh no.

Thumbs: (ignoring the Bowser beating behind him) Seat 34.

Boo Radley: Why did you have red hair in the Mario Cartoons?

Peach: I dyed it because I think it looks pretty. I dyed it back when I found out a certain someone already has red hair.

Thumbs: Seat 18.

Iggy: What is your relationship with Daisy?

Peach: Well, we're friends and that's about it.

Daisy: I hate you!

Peach: That must be how they say "I love you" in Sarasland. I hate you too!

Thumbs: That's all we have for today. See you next time on-

Lemmy: Lemmy's Interview Show!

Thumbs: Now I'm off to find an anti-plothole device thingy.

Peach: I hate plotholes!

Lemmy: End transmission.