Lemmy: Lemmy's Interview Show!

Dark Koopa: I haven't said my opening line yet.

Lemmy: Oh.

Dark Koopa: Hello and welcome to-

Silence...

Dark Koopa: Ahem.

Lemmy: Oh. Lemmy's Interview Show!

Dark Koopa: Today I interview the least popular character in Lemmy's Land, if not the least popular character in Nintendo, *yawn* Bowser Jr.

Junior: Hi.

Audience: Boo!

(The audience throw poisonous wads of gum at Junior.)

Junior: Why are they throwing these at me?

Dark Koopa: Because it's original.

Junior: Can you make them stop?

Dark Koopa: No throwing things at the interviewee unless I say so.

(The throwing stops.)

Junior: Thank you.

Dark Koopa: Throw things at the interviewee.

(The throwing continues.)

Junior: Hey!

(Junior gets hit in the face with a poison gum wad.)

Dark Koopa: That brings me to my first question: Do you have any resistance to poison?

Junior: *gag* No.

Dark Koopa: What would be your main weakness?

Junior: Definitely water. That was how Mario was able to beat me when I transformed into Shadow Mario.

(The audience starts throwing water balloons at Junior.)

Junior: Help! Why did I reveal my weakness? *splat*

Dark Koopa: Look! Balloons! Err... Speaking of Shadow Mario, if you could do anything Mario could while you were him, why were you always running away?

Junior: Two reasons: The first is that Mario had FLUDD and like I said earlier, I'm weak to water.

(Junior gets hit with another balloon.)

Junior: Err... The other reason is that I had a lot of graffiti to make. I had no time for Mario.

Dark Koopa: Hardly any of the graffiti on Isle Delfino was from you anyway. How did you get all those guys like Petey Piranha and King Boo to help you?

Junior: Because they like graffiti just like me!

Dark Koopa: Lame. I'm now going to have an audience question every once in a while. You, the pink Yoshi with the blonde hair in seat 8.

Pink Yoshi: Why do you have that brush?

Junior: Because it's cool. I can do lots of things with it.

Pink Yoshi: Like what?

Junior: Paint grafiti, uhh... other stuff.

Dark Koopa: I'm bored. Go ahead and ask another question.

Pink Yoshi: Why don't you use a wand like the Koopalings?

Junior: Their wands didn't exactly beat Mario either. I wanted to try something new and besides, my brush is way better. Watch this!

(Junior waves his brush and some graffiti falls on Pink Yoshi.)

Dark Koopa: That was a stupid move.

(Pink's eyes start turning an icy color.)

Dark Koopa: Here it comes.

Dark Koopa hides behind some bushes that are growing in the studio for some reason. Pink beats Junior into a bloody pulp. It is much worse than that but if I go into detail, I'll have the censors on me like ugly on Morton.)

Dark Koopa: I was going to ask if you were a moron, but I think we already know the answer.

Junior: Hey! I am not a moron!

(Pink takes Junior's brush and covers him with graffiti.)

Pink Yoshi: I'm keeping this.

Junior: Give that back!

Dark Koopa: Oh. You want my doggie toy? Go get it!

(Dark Koopa throws the toy. Junior runs off to get it.)

Dark Koopa: Anyway, how do you think you would fare if you were to fight another Koopaling?

Junior: Honestly, I don't think I could beat anyone but Iggy.

(Iggy beats Junior into a bloody pulp.)

Dark Koopa: So Junior, why do you whine so much?

Junior: I don't whine!

Dark Koopa: Oh really? Show the clip.

(Shows a clip of Junior crying after getting last place in Double Dash.)

Junior: Okay, okay. I just don't like to lose.

Dark Koopa: No one does. Another audience question. Seat 239.

Siro: Are you immune to fire?

Junior: I don't know.

(Siro torches Junior with his flamethrower.)

Junior: I'm not.

Dark Koopa: Why do you wear that bib?

Junior: I need it to transform into Shadow Mario.

Dark Koopa: With your crying and wearing a bib, I think you've proved you're a baby.

Junior: You big meany!

Dark Koopa: Ask a question, seat 47.

Fun Guy Fungi: Where did you get that boat you used to fight Mario in Sunshine?

Junior: Ludwig made it for me.

Fun Guy Fungi: Then why didn't it explode?

Ludwig: I told you that was a rumor!

Dark Koopa: How do you get along with Bowser?

Junior: I get along great! He gives me everything I want. We can relate to each other so well.

Dark Koopa: Well yeah. You're both brainless.

Junior: Brain-what?

Dark Koopa: My point exactly. Did you ever actually believe Peach was your mother?

Junior: I did until I battled Mario. Then it became so obvious.

Dark Koopa: One last question from... Pink Yoshi again.

Pink Yoshi: Do you like Yoshis?

Junior: Of course not! I hate Yoshis, they're stupid.

(Pink's eyes turn that icy color again.)

Dark Koopa: I didn't think anyone was stupid enough to make her mad twice and in the same Interview too.

(Pink starts beating up Junior.)

Dark Koopa: Okay. We're done. Now turn that camera off before we get censored.

Stupid Cameraman: Say the magic words.

Siro: End Transmission.

Dark Koopa: Hey! I wanted to say it!