Dark Koopa: Welcome to-

Lemmy: Lemmy's Interview Show!

Dark Koopa: I'm back from my break of doing Interviews.

Lemmy: You haven't even done any Interviews.

Dark Koopa: And it's those kinds of accusations that make me have to take breaks.

Lemmy: What are you talking about?

Dark Koopa: That's it. I'm taking another break. These Interviews are hard and some people, Lemmy, don't appreciate what I do.

Lemmy: What are you talking about?

Dark Koopa: Okay, Negative Nancy. Now who is going to do my Interviews until I get back? How about you?

Wooster: Are these Interviews clean?

Dark Koopa: What kind of stupid ques- Of course they're clean.

Lemmy: Like you would know.

Dark Koopa: Will someone please give Negative Nancy his ball so he'll stop whining?

Lemmy: Grr...

Wooster: Alright. I'll do it. I need the airtime anyway.

Dark Koopa: Good. Good. I shall now take my leave.

Wooster: Hi-ho! Welcome to-

Iggy: Iggy's Interview Show!

Wooster: Today I Interview the dirtiest, smelliest, least organized Koopaling, Ludwig.

Ludwig: Greetings.

Wooster: This studio is so dirty. While I'm cleaning, tell me about the first two games you appeared in.

Ludwig: The first two games I appeared in were Super Mario Bros. 3 and Super Mario World. In Mario 3, I was the last to fight Mario and I shook the ground. In Mario World, I was the fourth to fight Mario and I shot fireballs at him and charged at him in my shell.

Wooster: I'm sorry. I wasn't listening. Can you repeat that?

Ludwig: No.

***

Dark Koopa: Give me a hotdog.

(Dark Koopa takes the hotdog and eats it.)

Hotdog Guy: Aren't you going to pay me?

Dark Koopa: No.

(Hotdog Guy takes out a shotgun.)

Hotdog Guy: Are you going to pay me now?

Dark Koopa: It's time for my escape!

(Dark Koopa throws a smoke bomb, but when the smoke clears, he's still standing there.)

Dark Koopa: Oh that's right, I'm supposed to run after I throw the bomb. Uhh... Look! Balloons!

Hotdog Guy: I'm not falling for that.

Dark Koopa: You're right. It's just a flock of pigeons.

Hotdog Guy: A flock of pigeons?! Where?!

(Hotdog Guy turns around. Dark Koopa runs off.)

***

Wooster: I've heard Koopas don't bathe. Is this true?

Ludwig: Yes and no. Some of us bathe. Wendy and Lemmy bathe regularly, Larry and Iggy will bathe occasionally, while Morton and Roy bathe rarely. I, on the other hand, never bathe.

Wooster: Gross! Why don't you ever bathe?

Ludwig: Cleanliness is pointless and stupid and I would never be involved in such activities.

Wooster: What?!

(Wooster starts steaming and turns red.)

Wooster: Stupid?! Pointless?!

Ludwig: Woah. Just calm down.

Wooster: Do you know what I'm going to you, dirty Koopa? I'm going to-

(The phone rings. Wooster turns back to normal.)

Wooster: Oh. The phone.

Operator: You're received a collect call from...

Dark Koopa: I'm not giving my name to a machine!

Operator: Will you accept the charges?

Wooster: Yeah. I'll accept.

Dark Koopa: Hey Wooster. How is the Interview going?

Wooster: Ludwig is very dirty. And if he touches me, I'm going to have to take a shower.

Dark Koopa: I know. There's only a couple questions left for you to ask.

Wooster: How do you know?

Dark Koopa: Uhh... *hangs up*

Wooster: Anyway, why do so many of your inventions explode?

Ludwig: That's just a rumor. My inventions do not explode. I'll show you.

(Ludwig shows the audience one of his inventions. He turns it on and it explodes in his face.)

Wooster: Who saw that coming?

(All but one member of the audience raise their hands.)

Morton: I got arthritis in my arm!

Wooster: Okay. Time for audience questions. Seat 82.

Silver Boo: Chicken Sandwich?

Wooster: Seat 75.

Susan: Who is your worst enemy?

Ludwig: You.

Susan: That's disappointing.

Wooster: Seat 146.

Waluigi: What are you planning for your next scary invention?

Wooster: Hopefully something that will clean this dirty, dirty studio.

Ludwig: In your dreams.

Waluigi: I'm afraid of dreams!

Ludwig: My next invention is a round object that can help transport items quickly and smoothly.

Wooster: You mean the wheel?

Ludwig: Hey! That's what I was going to call it!

Waluigi: Please don't call it that! That name is way too scary!

Wooster: Right. That's all for today. See you next time on-

Iggy: Iggy's Interview Show!

(Lemmy punches Iggy.)

Lemmy: Lemmy's Interview Show!

(Strange One runs in and throws some confetti around, which causes Wooster to chase him out of the studio.)

Dark Koopa: I'm back everyone!

(Crickets chirp.)

Dark Koopa: Lame joke.

Ludwig: You're a jeopardy to Plit.

Dark Koopa: Yeah? Well, you're a Wheel of Fortune to Plit.

Wendy: End Transmission.

Dark Koopa: Where did you come from?