Susan: Hi everybody! Welcome to...

Lemmy: Lemmy's Interview Show!

Susan: You're so cute, Lemmy.

Lemmy: Aren't I?

Susan: Not as cute as Larry.

Lemmy: That's your opinion....

Susan: I'd like to point out that this is my first Interview, so I hope everyone enjoys it. I got the hic-ups. Bad timing. Let's bring out my guest... Duplighost!

Duplighost: BOO! Did I frighten you?

Susan: No, but you got rid of my hic-ups.

Duplighost: Good enough.

Susan: Where do you live?

Duplighost: I live in Shiver Mountain, outside of Crystal Palace.

Susan: What is your form of attack?

Duplighost: I headbutt my opponents. Also, I can do this!

(Duplighost transforms into Susan.)

Susan: Cool!

Duplighost: I can transform into exactly what my opponent looks like and I have their skills.

Susan: That doesn't look like me. The hair is all wrong.

Duplighost: Fine. I'll change back.

Susan: If you're a ghost, why can't you fly?

Duplighost: Well, I'm not actually a ghost, but if people think I'm a ghost, they will be afraid of me.

Susan: What's it like working for Crystal King?

Duplighost: It's just basic stuff. He tells us to guard an area, and if someone goes by, we attack them. That's about it.

Susan: How do you get along with your co-workers?

Duplighost: The White Clubbas are nice to be around, but the Magikoopas are bossy and kind of a pain.

Susan: Since you're not a ghost, how old are you?

Duplighost: 33.

Silence.

Susan: Yes... TIME FOR AUDIENCE QUESTIONS!!!

Duplighost: Is the yelling necessary?

Susan: No, but I did it anyway. Seat 71.

Lemmy: Why do you like the cold?

Duplighost: Well, I like to wear a blanket on my head and a cold place is the best place for a blanket.

Lemmy: Can you take the blanket off?

Duplighost: Okay.

(Duplighost takes the blanket off.)

Everyone: AHHHH!

Susan: Put the blanket back on!

(Duplighost puts the blanket back on.)

Susan: Wow! You are really ugly! Seat 13.

Roy: Do you get any rewards for doing a good job?

Duplighost: A few Duplighosts did a good enough job to get to work in Bowser's castle, but that's all I've ever seen.

Susan: Last question. Seat 64.

Larry: Uhhhh...

Susan: LARRY!

Larry: AHHHH!

(Susan chases Larry out of the studio.)

Lemmy: Let me guess. You're not going to end this until Susan says 'end transmission'.

Stupid Camera: That's right.

Lemmy: *sigh*

Four years later...

Susan: What do they say at the end of an Interview again?

Dark Koopa: End transmission.

Susan: Oh... END TRANSMISSION!

(Somehow the Stupid Cameraman hears Susan from about 100 miles away and turns off the camera.)

Lemmy: Finally! Oh great. Everyone died of starvation. Good thing I brought popcorn!