JOHNNY: Hey zz, want to do an interview?
zz1666: Yeah.
JOHNNY: Sweet, I've been waiting all day for this!
zz1666: Actually, you're not going to.
JOHNNY: What?!
zz1666: That's right, I get the honor of doing an interview with the one, the only, the amazing, Dark Koopa!
Dark Koopa: Hi… What, you want me to say something funny?
Thumbs: Yes.
Dark Koopa: You're not allowed to appear in this Interview.
Thumbs: Bit late for that.
Dark Koopa: Darn it.
zz1666: Somehow I was expecting a bit more of a dramatic entrance, but it will do. Now, let's bring in our interviewee, Buzzy Beetle!
Buzzy Beetle: Huh?
zz1666: We're going to interview you.
Buzzy Beetle: What if I don't want to?
zz1666: You have to.
Buzzy Beetle: Says who?
zz1666: Well, if you don't want to, I guess you can serve a snack to Gloomtail.
Gloomtail: But I'm not hungry.
Dark Koopa: That's a first.
Gloomtail: Are you calling me fat?
Dark Koopa: I am now.
Gloomtail: I'm gonna kill you!
Dark Koopa: What a surprise.
Buzzy Beetle: So, still not seeing why I should let myself be interviewed.
zz1666: Well, not only Gloomtail, but we also have the worst form of torture you could ever imagine!
Buzzy Beetle: What?
zz1666 pulls out a chalkboard and scrapes his trident against it.
Buzzy Beetle: Ahh! The noise, it hurts! Stop! Ahh! Fine, I'll, do the Interview, just make it stop!
zz1666: I knew that would work. Hey Dark, you can ask the first question, since you are THE DARK KOOPA!
A spotlight shines on Dark Koopa.
Dark Koopa: I'm important now?
Gloomtail: No. I am.
Dark Koopa: Yeah, well... Buzzy Beetle, where do you generally hang out?
Buzzy Beetle: Dark places. We like the dark.
Dark Koopa: Your turn, person putting the spotlight on me.
zz1666: For future references, the name is zz. Now Buzzy, what is the difference between you and Buster Beetle?
Buzzy Beetle: Buster Beetles like ice and cold temperatures, so they generally hang out in icy places. Oh, and they also have hands with opposable thumbs, which is why they're able to throw blocks and we're not.
zz1666: Ok. Your turn, person who can't remember my name.
Dark Koopa: I'm not doing any more. Yep, I quit.
Thumbs: Hey, you can't quit.
Dark Koopa: And you can't have any more lines.
Thumbs: Well, I didn't follow that rule.
Dark Koopa: And I'm not following the rule where I have to ask questions. So there.
zz1666: No quitting! Quitters never win!
JOHNNY: I don't think he is trying to win anything.
zz1666: No one asked for your opinion.
JOHNNY: Hey, I'm just saying....
zz1666: Well I don't like it! Now Dark, ask a question!
Dark Koopa: You think just asking me to do something just means I'll do it?
Thumbs: Yes.
Dark Koopa: Good enough for me. Why are your shells blue?
Buzzy Beetle: I dunno. It's just a common color. Our shells aren't all blue though. There's some black and red too. It might have something to do with the area we appear in.
zz1666: I love it when I get my way! Now, why do some of you guys walk on the ceiling, while some of you don't?
Buzzy Beetle: The answer should be obvious, but it's so we have more than one way of attacking.
zz1666: How do some of you guys stay on the ceiling?
Buzzy Beetle: Some Buzzy Beetles are born with sticky feet, and those ones are able to walk on the ceiling.
Dark Koopa: How come the band doesn't play a theme song for us?
Thumbs: We have a band?
Dark Koopa: We should.
zz1666: I'm in a band!
JOHNNY: But zz, your band stinks.
zz1666: No we don't, I'm the lead guitarist and singer!
JOHNNY: Singer? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Singing, how girly! HAHAHA!
zz1666: Hey, singing is harder then it looks.
JOHNNY: HAHAHAHA!
zz1666: Go die!
Dark Koopa: Now you're speaking my language! Thumbs, go die.
Thumbs: If you're so intent on me not having lines, maybe you should stop giving me reason to speak?
Dark Koopa: No.
Thumbs: Okay.
Dark Koopa: Buzzy Beetle, how hard is your shell?
Buzzy Beetle: Hard enough to be impenetrable to all but the most powerful of attacks! ... Unfortunately, it doesn't prevent us from being flipped over, and that's really annoying as it nullifies almost all of our defense.
zz1666: Well that stinks.
Buzzy Beetle: I know, now everyone is just flipping us over during fights.
zz1666: Are Spike Tops the same as you, except with a spike?
Buzzy Beetle: Yes. Spike Tops are Buzzy beetles that grew a spike. It's as simple as that.
Dark Koopa: Why do some Buzzy Beetles have wings?
Buzzy Beetle: All Koopas have a chance of having wings. I admit it's less likely on a Buzzy Beetle, though.
Dark Koopa: Nuh uh.
Buzzy Beetle: Um, yes.
Dark Koopa: Then why haven't I seen a Dark Koopa with wings?
Buzzy Beetle: They're called Dark Paratroopas.
Dark Koopa: You mean that's not another species?!
Buzzy Beetle: Well, I'm no expert, but... yes.
Dark Koopa: Flying things are dumb. Let's destroy some flying things.
(Thumbs whistles and floats away.)
zz1666: All right, how about audience questions. Anyone opposed to that?
JOHNNY: I-
zz1666: That's what I thought. Ok, seat 51.
Bandit: Why were you guys in the basement at Creepy Steeple?
Buzzy Beetle: Well duh, it was dark and spooky.
Dark Koopa: Nah, none of that! We're destroying some flying things right now!
Count Blacula: RANDOM DISTRACTION!
Dark Koopa: Can you fly?
Count Blacula: Probably. I never really checked.
Dark Koopa: Then you must die!
Count Blacula: Hey, why aren't you distracted?
Dark Koopa: Well, when you've done it like 20 times, people kind of catch on.
Count Blacula: Catch on to wha- COOKIE!
(Dark Koopa and Count Blacula fight over the cookie, though the former moreso wants to kill Blacula for being able to fly.)
Pura: Looks like I arrived at the perfect time. The Interview over?
Buzzy Beetle: No. We're in the process of asking me questions.
Pura: Drat. Well, I guess I'll ask something then. How do you survive in places like Dry Dry Ruins? I really don't expect there to be much food there.
Buzzy Beetle: Well... we eat bugs sometimes. They're actually pretty good.
Pura: That's fairly gross.
Buzzy Beetle: Why thank you!
(Dark Koopa can be seen eating the cookie while Count Blacula is eating his shoe.)
Dark Koopa: Hey Pura! Can you fly?
Pura: Well, it's technically levitation, but yes. Why?
Dark Koopa: You must die!
Pura: Excuse me?
Dark Koopa: Err, so, yeah, audience questions.
zz1666: Umm... sure.
JOHNNY: zz, this is boring.
zz1666: And do I care?
JOHNNY: You should.
zz1666: You're right. I should... but I don't.
JOHNNY: Go die!
zz1666: Don't make me stab you!
JOHNNY: Who are you, Salty?
zz1666: Maybe. But whatever, I know I'm going to win this, so let's get back on track. Seat 21.
Lord Crump: Buh huh huh huh! Yo, why do you eat bugs if you are one?
Buzzy Beetle: They're different kinds of bugs, so it's not cannibalism.
zz1666: Hey Crump.
Lord Crump: Yeah?
JOHNNY: Would you stay out of this Interview? Wow, I mean, you just HAVE to be in every Interview.
Lord Crump: Yup.
Dark Koopa: That's it! I've had it! Why is JOHNNY's name in all capital letters? Why does zz's name have NO capital letters but has numbers in it? Who names themselves with numbers, seriously?
Buzzy Beetle: Um.
Dark Koopa: And you! Stop thinking you matter, you tiny inferior fool.
Gloomtail: Starting to sound a bit like me.
Dark Koopa: Well, good! Sometimes I wish I could step on people and cause massive damage as if I was attacking a giant enemy crab's weak point.
Gloomtail: You should try it!
Dark Koopa: I shall!
(Dark Koopa repeatedly stomps on Buzzy Beetle to no effect.)
Buzzy Beetle: Ow?
Dark Koopa: Yeah, you better say ow!
zz1666: Ow!
JOHNNY: He wasn't talking to you.
zz1666: Well excuse me, Mr. I-Get-to-Have-My-Name-In-Caps.
JOHNNY: My name is only in caps because I am the cool kid on the block.
Buzzy Beetle: What a loser.
JOHNNY: Hey, what did you say?
(JOHNNY joins Dark Koopa in stomping on Buzzy Beetle.)
zz1666: Well, they don't look like they're going to stop, so there no point in continuing this Interview. END TRANSMISSION!
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