(Dark Koopa can be seen laughing hysterically.)
Thumbs: You read the title, didn’t you?
Dark Koopa: Yes. Now who am I really interviewing?
Thumbs: The fake Millennium Star.
(Dark Koopa can be seen smashing things.)
Thumbs: It’s not that bad… Okay, yes it is. But once you get it over with, you’ll never have to do it again.
Dark Koopa: There will be much suffering today.
(Dark Koopa stomps on both Mimi and Gloomba.)
Mimi: What’d I do?
Dark Koopa: Hit me with a rubie.
Gloomba: What’d I do?
Dark Koopa: Exist.
The Fake Millennium Star: Can you put me in the script as “Millennium Star”?
Dark Koopa: No. I’m putting you as Fake.
Fake: … Jerk.
Pura: You’re a phony! A big fat phony!
Fake: The Mario Gang are a bunch of tattletales.
Dark Koopa: So why’d you pose as the real Millennium Star?
Fake: Fame, of course.
Dark Koopa: What’d you do with the real Millennium Star?
Fake: Locked it in Tumble.
Dark Koopa: And Tumble didn-
Fake: Just look at him.
Dark Koopa: Right, right. Is Tumble a Mushroomer?
Fake: I don’t know, interview him or something.
Dark Koopa: I’d rather not. One Mario Party 3 character is enough for a lifetime.
Pura: Phony!
Fake: Are you going to follow me to my house and say that?
Pura: Yes. The world must know!
Dark Koopa: But they don’t care because this guy is pathetic. Where do you live anyway?
Fake: I am not pathetic, and I live in Star Haven.
Dark Koopa: You’re like the worst Mario character ever.
Fake: …
Dark Koopa: Anyway, how’d you find out about the Millennium Star dropping out of the sky and stuff?
Fake: Other stars in Star Haven talking about it.
Dark Koopa: Okay, um, why’d you use those stupid Star Stamps?
Fake: Since I didn’t want any of those idiots in the Mario Gang running around thinking I’d make them a Superstar, I made stamps of each of one of their best attributes. Except for Luigi. He’s useless.
Dark Koopa: I agree there.
Boo: Hi.
Dark Koopa: Hi loser.
Boo: I’m Mr. L’s record player. THE MAN IN GREEN! THE MAN IN GREEN!
(Thumbs drops on a piano on the Boo.)
Thumbs: Not quite Luigi, but it’s fitting.
Fake: Where is Luigi anyway?
Dark Koopa: Who cares?
Pura: Phony!
***
(Mr. L can be seen walking to the store.)
***
Thumbs: That wasn’t funny at all.
Dark Koopa: But it suggests Mr. L is Luigi!
Thumbs: Everyone knows that already, except for him. That wasn’t funny.
Dark Koopa: … Well… How did Link win the basketball game? He used his hookshot.
Thumbs: … Wooooow…
Dark Koopa: Anyway-
Pura: Phony! Big fat phony!
Dark Koopa: Yes, phony… There’s one problem with your Star Stamp plan- none of them had to show the attributes from the Stamp to earn it. They just had to win a bunch of stupid mini-games.
Fake: It’s not my fault the Mario Party games make no sense. I mean, in half the games, the losing players die, yet come right back to life the next game.
Dark Koopa: This is why I avoid interviewing Mario Party charac- I always set myself up for those.
Fake: Ha!
Dark Koopa: And you just set yourself up for a beating or insult.
Count Blacula: RANDOM DISTRACTION!
Dark Koopa: That was most certainly a random distraction.
Audience: Indeed…
Dark Koopa: Darn it, they’re unified again. They may be ready to overthrow me.
Thumbs: Don’t give them ideas.
Pura: Phony!
Dark Koopa: Right, where was I? Oh yes, I was gonna insult the Fake Star and then harm it. You!
Fake: Yes?
Dark Koopa: You’re an idiot.
Fake: I would stop messing with me if I were you.
Dark Koopa: And why is that?
Fake: Like all grown Stars, I have powers.
Dark Koopa: And what kind of powers do you have?
Fake: I can make an area slippery.
Dark Koopa: …
Fake: What?
Dark Koopa: You must be quite the serious threat. You’re such a terrible villain; I don’t think I can even classify you as a villain… Are you a villain?
Fake: No. I’m just a greedy Star.
Dark Koopa: So you’re like the Star version of Wario. Except Wario isn’t completely useless.
Fake: … I have more powers, you know.
Dark Koopa: And those are?
Fake: I can make an area muddy, too.
Dark Koopa: …
Pura: Phony!
Dark Koopa: Yes, yes, I agree. But we should put pathetic in front of it.
Pura: Pathetic phony!
Dark Koopa: Perfect. So you got a name?
Fake: I’d rather not say.
Dark Koopa: Say it.
Fake: No.
Dark Koopa: I’ll turn you into a square.
Fake: Nooooo! Fine. It’s… it’s… Phonystar.
Pura: Hahahaha! Phony! Phony! Phony!
Dark Koopa: Nice.
Fake: That’s it! It’s Stardust Battle time!
Dark Koopa: Too lazy.
Fake: Too bad!
(The Fake Millennium Star teleports itself and Dark Koopa to the Stardust Dust battlefield.)
Fake: Now you’re completely trapped! Mwahahaha!
(Dark Koopa can be seen climbing down a ladder.)
Fake: Hey, get back here!
Dark Koopa: Fine, I guess I’ll beat you real quick.
(The Fake Millennium Star summons some shooting stars at Dark Koopa, who grabs one and hits the Fake with it.)
Fake: Ow! Okay, you win!
Dark Koopa: … Are you serious?
Fake: Actually, I have one final tactic.
Dark Koopa: And that is?
Fake: Running away!
(The Fake Millennium Star flees.)
Dark Koopa: What a loser. Hey, you teleporting me back now?
Fake: No!
Dark Koopa: Fine, I’ll just climb down the ladder.
(The Fake Millennium Star returns, knocks down the ladder, and returns to fleeing.)
Dark Koopa: Lame.
Back at the studio…
Mr. L: Hey guys, the Green Thunder is back, with a gallon of milk.
Pura: Phony!
Mr. L: …
Whoops! You're not logged in! |