Lemmy: Good evening! I'm Lemmy Koopa, here to find out about yet another character in the Mario Universe. For all of you watching at home, I had to go back to the regular set, you know, the kind with a paying audience, since all the lights on my hi-tech set were getting kind of hard to afford. My first guest back in the old studio is one who will appreciate the lack of lights. Please welcome, King Boo!

King Boo: YAAWAAYAAWAAYAAH!!!

99 Percent of the Audience: EEEK!!!

Mario: I'm-a Mario!

King Boo: ... Not bad, not bad at all.

Lemmy (with hair standing a bit straighter than usual): Well, uh, I'm glad you could make it. Before we get to the questions, I thought I'd tell a joke, to, er, lighten the mood.

King Boo: Fine by me.

Lemmy: Knock knock!

King Boo: Who's there?

Lemmy: Boo.

King Boo: Yes?

Lemmy: No, you're supposed to say Boo who.

King Boo: Aww, what's the matter?

Lemmy: ... Heh heh, you're pretty clever. Alright, now it's time for some questions. First, what games have you appeared in?

King Boo: I made my gaming debut in Luigi's Mansion, where I captured Mario and was the final boss. I also appeared in Super Mario Sunshine, where I was a regular boss, and in Double Dash along with Petey Piranha.

Lemmy: In Luigi's Mansion, you say you're out for revenge against Mario. What did he do to you in the past?

King Boo: Even though Luigi's Mansion was released first by Nintendo, Super Mario Sunshine occurred first. When Mario defeated me, Bowser was so upset that he kicked me out of the Koopa Klan. He took my crown and, since many Boos remained part of his army, my power as king over the Boos was significantly weakened. I vowed that I would get Mario for what he'd done.

Lemmy: Why not just get Bowser? He's the one that kicked you out.

King Boo: Don't get me wrong, I'm no fan of Bowser, but at least we're on the same side when it comes to Mario. I knew that even if I earned a spot in the Koopa Klan again, I would never feel right until I had defeated Mario.

Lemmy: You look a lot different in your two appearances. Is that just graphical, or is there a reason for that?

King Boo: The chili peppers Mario threw at me were so spicy, they somehow made my tongue turn from red to blue. I also shrank because a lot of my water evaporated. Finally, since Bowser took my crown, I had to get another. The best I could find was a cheap red diamond.

Lemmy: How did you get to be "King" Boo, anyway?

King Boo: Boo society is based completely on merit. Every year, all Boos try to scare as many people as possible... points are given based on how many you scare, and how much they are scared. Whoever earns the most points is king for the next year. Other Boos with lots of points are given various powers as well, and all the Boos that make up a Big Boo also scored well.

Lemmy: Interesting. How long have you been king?

King Boo: Just over 300 years now.

Lemmy: 300 years?! Wow, that certainly predates the Koopa Klan. Why did you join?

King Boo: No, the Koopa Klan existed back then, just not under Bowser, of course. Why, it seems like just yesterday when he was a baby...

Baby Bowser: You saw me today you dumb ghost!

King Boo: Oh, yeah... Guess I forgot about that.

Lemmy: What were you planning to do with Mario if Luigi hadn't stopped you? Give him to Bowser?

King Boo: Of course not! You won't see me doing him any favors. No, I was just going to leave him to languish forever in the picture. He's a very funny man in 2D.

Mr. Game & Watch: Beep Beep BEEP!!!

King Boo: Yes, you're another funny man in 2D.

Lemmy: If you don't want anything to do with Bowser ever again, why did you use a Bowser robot?

King Boo: Boos aren't strong fighters, so I knew that if Luigi made it to me I wouldn't be able to beat him with normal Boo tactics. Though I despise him, you can't help but respect Bowser's power, so I thought that a robot that used his attacks would be a good choice. Plus, I was hoping that seeing his biggest foe, along with all the ghosts, would finally be enough to scare Luigi off. I wish that I hadn't set the robot to automatic pilot. If I hadn't, I could've stopped rolling those spiked balls.

Lemmy: Very true. It seems you had no trouble catching Mario. Why was Luigi so much harder?

King Boo: We knew that by giving the "prize" to Luigi, Mario would get jealous and try to get to the mansion first. We lured him into the middle of the mansion, where he wouldn't be able to escape, and ambushed him all at once. He had no chance. As for Luigi, we were hoping he wouldn't bother to come, but were prepared to do the same thing we did to Mario. It nearly worked, but when we saw the Poltergust 3000, the only tool that had a chance against all of us, we panicked and split up. We tried to regroup, but Luigi started to catch us one by one. Fifteen Boos formed Boolossus and gave him a hard time, but we failed to unite as one... that's why we lost. If we see Luigi again, we'll be ready.

Lemmy: So then are you preparing another trap for Mario and Luigi?

King Boo: Always, but of course it has to be different. Contrary to popular opinion, Mario and Luigi are actually very smart, and now they're on higher alert so it will be more difficult to ambush them, especially in a place of our choosing.

Lemmy: Right. Well, I'm out of questions, so let's go to the audience. Yes, you in seat 1.

Kooper: I'm number one! King Boo, you said a lot of Boos stayed with Bowser. Are the 50 Boos with you in Luigi's Mansion all you have left?

King Boo: Of course not, I have many more Boos than that in my army. I thought 50 would be more than enough for the job, and it would have been if we'd stayed together. I sent the others out to do mischief as usual.

Lemmy: Seat 30.

Lakitu: What's your relationship with the other ghosts in the mansion?

King Boo: The "portrait ghosts", as E. Gadd calls them, are ghosts that allied with us after I freed them from their paintings. They agreed to help me catch Mario and Luigi, and then they'd be free to go. As for the other ghosts, they are all the creations of Van Ghoul that decided to hang around.

Lemmy: Seat 15.

E. Gadd: Ah, now how did you get out of the picture then?

King Boo: Hello, I'm a ghost! I can go through stuff! I would've done it immediately, but I was so angry about being defeated that I couldn't think straight. Once I realized I could leave, I just... did. The portrait ghosts could have left too, but they're not so smart, which is probably why they were defeated. Oh, and one other thing, Professor...

E. Gadd: Yes?

King Boo: You'd be wise not to sleep at night! BOOHAHAHA!!!

E. Gadd: You! You... specter!

King Boo: Yes, that sure was a snappy comeback.

Lemmy: Seat 124.

Tatanga: Why don't you join Wart, Wario, and I in defeating Mario? We want to make sure he remains fearful of those he's only faced once or twice.

King Boo: No, this is a personal Boo issue now... my army and I will defeat Mario on our own. In fact, if someone defeats Mario first, we will then need to defeat that person in order to have defeated Mario, indirectly anyway.

Lemmy: You, standing in the aisle.

Boom Boom: Would you like to appear in another game?

King Boo: Yes, I've faced Mario more than twice already, and I'd like to appear in more games. Nintendo seems to like me right now, so I'm feeling hopeful.

Lemmy: Um, the one who is holding his one arm in the other hand.

Dry Bones: What's... your... favorite... food?

King Boo: We're both dead! You should realize I don't eat.

Dry Bones: Oh... then-

King Boo: I also don't drink, I don't live anywhere as I drift around to where I can find more people to scare, Boos are solitary and don't generally have friends except for other Boos when it is useful, the most people I've scared in a year is three billion, and no, I do not remember what I was before I died.

Lemmy: Well, that's all the time we have. Thank you, King Boo, for your time.

King Boo: My pleasure. Remember, my Boos and I are out to get ya, so don't blink! BOO!!!

Audience (yes, including Mario): YAAH!!!

Lemmy: And cut!