Brawl: Hi, welcome to another Interwiew. I am your host, Brawl Koopa, and today I have a treat for everyone. I am Interviewing the ruler of Pipe Land, or Pipe Maze if you go by Mario All-Stars, Ludwig von Koopa!

(Brawl claps.)

Ludwig: Greetings. I am honored to be present today.

Brawl: This is soo awesome, I'm interviewing Ludwig von Koopa!

(Brawl hops around in his seat.)

Brawl: I'm soo excited! Anyway, sorry if I am scaring you, but you're my role model ^_^  Ok, Ludwig, many questions will be asked, and many wll be answered. First, your first game was Super Mario Bros. 3. Please comment on that game, and tell me, what got you into music?

Ludwig: Mario 3 was likely one of our best efforts to conquer the Mushroom Kingdom,and therefore one of our biggest disappointments as well. For my part, Inever expected Mario to make it through the first six lands, but I alsooverestimated the difficulty of my own. As a result I was unprepared when Mario engaged me in battle, for I had not made an invention to assist me. I instead spent the time waiting for Mario to fall in composing, my other hobby. After my defeat I made sure to always expect the worst when Mario's concerned. As for how I became interested in music, I am not exactly sure. I seem to have always had a love for listening to and composing music, since as far back as I can remember anyway. My hypothesis is that Bowser, who, you'll be surprised, used to sing lullabies to us, somehow struck a chord in me. Of course the music I prefer is much more complicated, much more acoustically pleasing than Bowser's ever was.

Brawl: Alright, now the so call wand had a lot of powers, but it seemed that all of you didn't use it to its potential. How come?

Ludwig: We possess our own wands, of course, but for Mario 3 we needed to steal the kings' wands to enable us to transform them, as their wands would protect them from ours. Therefore, we left our wands at the castle and took the kings', but we weren't able to figure out how to use the wands to their full potential. We figured out transformations, obviously, but other than that we didn't have time to learn much more than how to perform a fairly weak attack. Lemmy and Wendy each figured out a little more, but they still did not understand the true power of the wands.

Brawl: Ah, I get it. Thank you for the explanation, Ludwig. As a musician, you must have composed a lot. What would you say was the most difficult piece of music to perform?

Ludwig: I am the great Ludwig von Koopa! No composition is difficult for me to perform.

Brawl: Of course. In Super Mario World, your battle agenst Mario and Luigi was a lot different to your other bothers and sister, bravo on that. Now, I haven't played every Mario game; tell me the whole plot of Yoshi's Safari.

Ludwig: Yoshi's Safari is a little-known adventure, where King Dad, my siblings, and I took over Jewelry Land, a kingdom nearby the Mushroom Kingdom. Along the way we kidnapped the rulers, King Fret and Prince Pine, and stole the twelve jewels. At the time we stole the jewels, we believed they were merely
valuable, but in actuality they protected the land. By disrupting them, Jewelery Land split into two realms, light and dark. Bowser, attracted to the darkness, stayed in the dark realm, while my siblings and I took the
light realm. Princess Peach is a personal friend of Prince Pine, however, and she sent Mario and Yoshi to stop us. Without going into too much detail, they were, indeed, able to do so.

Brawl: What a weird story. Now, if anyone is like me, they love to go back to old Mario games. What Mario games make you come back to?

Ludwig: As you no doubt realize, I am a very busy Koopaling. I rarely have time to play games I have already completed, and generally do not enjoy doing so since I'll likely remember exactly how to finish the game again. Nevertheless, my Mario game of choice is Mario RPG, a solid quest. Some of you might expected me to name one of Mario's edutainment titles, such as Mario is Missing, but those games are far too shallow and uninformative for my liking.

Brawl: Good choice, one that I would choose, that you can believe because I was playing it recently. Could you explain everything that makes you Ludwig von Koopa?

Ludwig: Your inquiry doesn't really make sense. However, I am an unexplicably underachieving inventor, and an underappreciated musician. I do not doubt myself, for I know that many of history's greats were disliked by their peers, only to be discovered later in life or in death. Though my inventions have yet to succeed, my music to captivate, someday I will truly be recognised as the genius that I am.

Brawl: Forgive me, I am not even average when it comes to making sense. I can be confusing at times. What's the latest invention you have created?

Ludwig: I call my latest invention the Zoom Pill! When a subject consumes the pill, he will become much quicker. It's great for overcoming foes in battle, or for completing more work in a given time. I designed the pill to speed a Koopa up for an hour, but unfortunately right now it only works for roughly two minutes, and I have thus far been unable to produce enough of them to make them useful. I believe the defect is due to impurities in the chemicals I am forced to use.

Brawl: Wow. Many people wonder about how you got your name. Some say Bowser named you that because you had a love for music, some say it fit the way your hair was, and some say you were named Kooky because of your inventing. Do you ever find this enoying?

Ludwig: Annoying, no. I don't really know where my name comes from either. Bowser could not have known that I would love music right when I was born, and I didn't possess hair yet either, so the best I can say is that the name was a lucky guess... except that, as a scientist, I do not put stock in luck. In any case, I recognize that names mean little, as it is what a person accomplishes that matters.

Brawl: My brain hurts. Can you play a Xylophone with four mallets?

Ludwig: Only if I invent a way to give myself another two arms. I can only hold one mallet in each hand, and am not dexterous enough to use my feet.

Brawl: There is a way to hold two mallets in one hand. It's not very hard.

Ludwig: I merely claimed to be a master composer. I never vouched to be able to play all instruments.

Brawl: Well, I'm still happy. Roy and you, Ludwig, seem to be very strong, but you appear to be stronger. Is
that true?

Ludwig: Indeed, I am stronger than Roy. Occassionally Roy will take me by surprise when my mind is not on the present, but in an equal fight I will emerge victorious.

Brawl: Cool, Do any of your siblings get annoyed with your music?

Ludwig: No comment.

Brawl: My brain still hurts. What was the best thing that happened to you in your life?

Ludwig: This is a difficult question for me to answer, but it would probably be the day I made my first invention. It wasn't really a new invention, I later discovered, as some other Koopa had already invented lightbulbs, but it started me down my path of achievement.

Brawl: Great. What was the worst mistake you have made?

Ludwig: I don't generally make mistakes. You will of course appreciate that my failed inventions are due to inteference from my siblings, lack of time, or inferior materials. If I had to choose one mistake, it would be failing to persuade my parents against having additional children back when I was the only Koopaling.

Brawl: Hold it... yeah... my brain stopped. Ok, time for some questions from the audience. Seat 23!

Goomba: What's the strongest Goomba?

Ludwig: Ah, an oxymoron. Goombas are not strong.

Goomba: You big...

(Goomba leaves.)

Brawl: That, has got to be very sad. Next question, yes, you who looks like the last guy!

Goomba: Is it possible I could become a pro wrestler?

Brawl: That's not a question about Ludwig, or has anything to do with him, and no you can't. Seat 76!

Shy Guy: Who's you favorite minion? Is it me?

Ludwig: My favorite minion is Rocky Wrench, since he is clever and makes use of instruments.

Shy Guy: ?

Brawl: Oh yeah, those guys are ok. Seat -11!

Plum: Why was I created? I am not a Mario character.

Ludwig: I am not an expert on golfing, even if my name did appear in the game.

Plum: You're not very much help.

Brawl: Hey, don't even go there. Seat 45!

Dancing Bushes: We are the dancing bushes! Do you like our dance?

Brawl: Hey, you guys were here last week. Ludwig, answer please.

Ludwig: Don't be foolish. Bushes don't dance.

Dancing Bushes: Ah, but we do.

Brawl: This is getting into a rut. Seat 3/12!

Lakitu: How tall are you?

Ludwig: I am 4'9'' in stature.

Brawl: We got time for one more question. Seat 55!

Pirahna Plant: Did you like your doomships?

Ludwig: No, the doomships were technologically inferior. I could have designed them to be much better.

Brawl: Well that's all the time we have. Thank you very much for coming, Ludwig Von Koopa, the greaa one!

(Brawl bows to Ludwig a couple times.)

Brawl: Ludwig, if you could, could you sign something for me after the show? I would like to thank all my viewers, all of them. And me, and my beautiful singing voice. And don't worry about that cat, I killed it, again, before the show. Needless to say, my name is Brawl, and everyone should know me by now. Thank you, goodnight, and you will catch me in my next feature, Koopa Jeopardy, my first story, which is in question right now. Thank you and GOOD NIGHT!

Announcer: This has been a Misery Train Productions: And this show has reached a new low.

Brawl: The doomship song was cool.