Flurry: Rolling!

Lemmy: Welcome back! I am proud to have the honor of being the first to interview a character from Paper Mario.

Kammy: Actually, you've interviewed many characters from Paper Mario. Just… before that game came out.

Lemmy: Even better! So Kammy, let's start off with an easy question, since I know many of my listeners don't know who you are yet. What is your role in Paper Mario?

Kammy: I am the highest ranked officer in the Koopa Troop, after Bowser of course. I used my powers to help him steal the Star Rod and trap the Star Spirits, then led much of the invasion of the Mushroom Kingdom. Unfortunately, the plan failed after I ended up being defeated by-

Lemmy: Woah, hold up! We don't want to spoil the game here.

Kammy: Oh. Yes, I suppose not.

Lemmy: With that in mind, let's go to the phones. Caller on line 17?

Koopa Troopa: Long time viewer, fourth time caller! Did you know that I'm really Kooper Koopa, the second friend that Mario meets?

Kammy: You! You… we could have won without your help!

Lemmy: Please answer the question.

Kammy: I… no, I didn't know you were the traitorous Kooper Koopa.

Kooper: Ha ha! Fooled ya!

Lemmy: Line 18!

Larry: What happened to Kamek? I thought he was the head Magikoopa.

Kammy: … Didn't you know? Kamek died many years ago. I'm the third head Magikoopa since his passing.

Lemmy: …

Larry: …

Lemmy: Since when is he dead?!

Kammy: Child, the events of Yoshi's Island happened many years ago, and Kamek, whom I knew only briefly, was already old then. He had his time in this world.

Lemmy: I'm always the last to know… Line 19!

Roy: How come head Magikoopas are so weak?

Kammy: Why you- um… just what do you mean?

Roy: You heard me! How come you and Kamek never fight?

Kammy: I fight. What, you mean you think I should have done more than just put a big yellow block in his path?

Roy: Um, hello!

Lemmy: Um, goodbye! Stupid little pest… Line 20!

Jester: If Bowser asked you to step off a cliff, would you do it?

Kammy: Of course. But I'd do it while on my broomstick unless he told me not to.

Lemmy: Line 21!

Red Koopa Brother: Hey! Are ya still in with King Koopa, or is he still mad that he lost to that cheater Mario?

Kammy: Bowser is still upset with me, but he's beginning to get over it. Just yesterday he only used ten different curse words when I chanced to cross his path. That's down from 83.

Lemmy: Line 22!

Master Junior Koopa: What kind of magic do you know?

Kammy: I can make a mean yellow block! Um… I can also conjure up stuff, but only when Bowser tells me to, of course. Sometimes electricity shoots out of my wand and does other stuff but it's out of my control.

Master Junior Koopa: I'm still going to beat you!

Kammy: Why you little-

Lemmy: Line 23, last call!

Bowser: Do you plan to live long?

Kammy: Bowser! Uh, do you want me to live long?

Bowser: Let me think… no!

Kammy: Very well, my king. I will have it taken care of at the end of the Interview.

Bowser: Good.

Lemmy: And we're through the calls! Kammy, before I let you go answer Bowser's bidding, what do you think I should do to defeat Mario?

Kammy: Conjure up a big yellow block! Yeah, maybe if you drop it on him instead of right in front of him it will prove more effective.

Lemmy: Yeah, maybe I'll- darn! But I can't conjure up anything! Oh well… thanks for coming, Kammy. Next time I'll-

Flurry: And that's a rap!

Lemmy: … Darn!

Kammy: Want me to drop a yellow block on his head?

Lemmy: … End transmission.
 

Special thanks to Jacob for supplying Kammy's theme from Paper Mario.