It was an average day in the Mushroom Park. A mushroom woman fed the birds some seeds, when suddenly a large clattering sound was heard like several utensils falling to the ground. Then the ground shook as dust flew by. When she looked around, Iggy was lying on the ground in a horrible condition and Mario was dancing on top of him. Roy was watching nearby on a bench. He was laughing a lot at whatever had just happened. The Mushroomer pulled out a cellphone and called the authorities...

A week has passed, and the witnesses are now in court. Iggy is suing Mario for assault, with Ludwig as the lawyer. Mario is the accused, and has chosen Morton to be his lawyer completely at random. The judge is Bowser, who is looking forward to Mario losing the case. In the jury are Wario, Kooper, a Goomba, Larry, and Mr. Stin. Bowser Jr., the big ol' bed wetting doodyhead, is the Baliff.

Bowser: Order! Order in the court!

Bowser Jr.: SHADDUP!!!

Silence.

Bowser: Thank you. Mario, you have been accused of assault and utter stupidity, which you are undoubtedly guilty of. Iggy, are you feeling okay?

Iggy: Yeah, I'm pretty used to injury.

Bowser: That's good. Now let's get this case underway. Morton, will you please call your first witness to the stand?

Morton: Why of course your honor, who is King Dad, and I call you that because you are my father and that's what I always call you and you are the judge too so you're the father judge so I'm confused if I should call you King Dad or your honor but both sound ni-

Bowser: WHO IS YOUR WITNESS?!

Morton: Oh, I'll call my witness, who is my dear, injured brother Iggy, and he's only one of my br-

Bowser: Iggy, please take the stand.

With a gulp, Iggy gets up and limps to the stand. He takes his seat and starts sweating nervously.

Bowser: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Iggy: Y-yessir...

Morton: Okay, Iggy Koopa, my brother, my sibling, my buddy, my pal, how about you tell the audience and the nice people who are helping this court get underway the way that the accident happened in your own words wh-

SHOVE!!!

Bowser: Nice use of sock, Jr.!

Morton: Mphbphbbmpbphphhh!

Iggy: Well, here's out it went...

The scene switches to a large park. Iggy is walking down the path whistling.

Iggy: I was walking, minding my own business... when suddenly, Mario came!

Mario, looking like a big bully and having huge muscles and sunglasses, jumps in front of Iggy.

Mario: Hey there, squirt! Wanna know what time it is?

Iggy: I was scared, so I tried to run away. But he grabbed me from behind and beat me into a bloody pulp!

Mario beats Iggy up in a big cartoon cloud thingy.

Iggy: He then flung me into the concession stand, where I was crushed by several painful metal cooking utensils.

Iggy is thrown into the concession stand, which is blown up by a fiery explosion.

Iggy: After that I fell unconsious. That's all I can remember.

The scene is the courtroom again.

Bowser: Thank you, Iggy. I'm sure that's exactly how it happened!

Morton: And now I'm finished with my br-

Bowser: Thank you, sit down!

Morton: B- *SOCK*

Ludwig: Don't worry, Iggy. You'll win this case for sure! Now, why do you think Mario attacked you?

Iggy: I have no clue...

Ludwig: Thank you. Perhaps it's because he enjoys attacking Koopas senselessly! I'm done with the witness.

Bowser: Iggy, you may sit down.

Iggy: Phew!

Iggy walks back to his seat. Morton falls over trying to pull the sock out of his mouth.

Bowser: Ludwig, will you please call the next witness forward?

Ludwig: I call Roy to the stand!

Roy walks up to the stand.

Bowser: Do you swear to tell the truth and blah blah blah blah?

Roy: Yup!

Ludwig: Okay, Roy. Let's hear how you saw it happen.

Roy: Glad to! Well let's see...

Another flashback thing.

Man: It's Roy!

Woman: Oh my gosh! It's him!

Everybody lies down in front of Roy, who walks over them.

Roy: As usual, everybody was treating me like a god. Suddenly, I heard a scream!

Iggy screams.

Roy: I ran to see what happened, and Mario was beating up Iggy! I knew that was MY job, so I decided to give him a piece of my mind!

Mario: Mamamia! It's Roy!

Iggy: I'm saved!

Roy: Mario threw Iggy away instantly, but he hit the concession stand and it crumbled to the ground! It was funny, so I laughed. Then, Mario started begging for my mercy!

Mario: Please don't hurt me! PLEASE!!!

Roy: I decided to go easy on him, so I shoved a beehive down his pants! I laughed as he ran away screaming. And that's exactly how it happened!

End flashback thing.

Ludwig: Thank you, Roy... A little exagerated... but... interesting... I'm done with this witness...

Morton: Okay, no-

Bowser: Okay, you're done with him.

Morton: But I- *SOCK!!!*

Bowser: Roy, you may sit down.

Roy does so.

Bowser: Now, Morton, silently point to the person you'd like to come up next.

Morton points to Mario. Mario cheers and does a bunch of cartwheels. He then sits down, but his weight makes the seat shatter. He decides to sit somewhere else...

Bowser: Mario?

Mario: Yes?

Bowser: WOULD YOU GET OFF MY HEAD?!

Mario jumps down and sits on the floor. Morton had gotten the sock out of his mouth.

Bowser: Do y-

Mario: ONIONS!!!

Bowser: ... Do you sw-

Mario: ONIONS!!!

Bowser: DO YOU SWEAR-

Mario: ONIONS!!!

Bowser: SHUT UP!!!

Bowser Jr.: SHUT UP!!!

Mario: Okie dokie.

Morton: Now tell us how the story went in yo- *SOCK!!!*

Mario: Yippee! Well, here's how it happened!

Flashback...

Mario: I was-a walking down the river, when a musketeer popped up and challenged me to a fight! I threw some TACO MEAT at him and he flew away! Then I saw Iggy! I decided to give him a big hug! But then some aliens came and delivered a package to him! I wanted it too, so I fed him a ham! He then turned into a bowling ball and went flying into the concession stand, which had just earned the record in peanut LICKING!!! HOO HOO!!! It disappeared and Iggy died!

End Flashback...

Iggy: But... I'm ri-

Mario: ONIONS!!!

Bowser: I know you're gonna lose, idiot. And what did I say about you sitting on my head?

Mario: It's-a me! Mario!

Bowser: Ludwig, any questions for our witness?

Ludwig: Not really. I wanna go finish my latest experiment.

Bowser: Alright then. Jury, what's your opinion?

Wario: I'm-a still not sure who is guilty a-

Bowser flashes a 100 dollar bill.

Wario: Mario is guilty!

Kooper: Mario rules! Iggy's lying! Mario is innocent!

Goomba: ... Um... Iggy... he's innocent... Bowser will kill me if I say otherwise...

Larry: Down with Mario! He's guilty! He has to be!

Mr. Stin: I agree with everyone who said Iggy was innocent. I think that's exactly what Mario would do. I almost lost my job because of him! So he's definitely guilty.

Bowser: Then it's settled. Mario, you are sentenced to one day covered in cat fur!

Mario: YIPPEE!!!

A load of cat fur falls on Mario. He leaves the room dancing.

Bowser: Now let's get outta here! Case dismissed!

Everyone leaves the room. Iggy gets five cents for winning the case and Bowser lied to Wario, who went on a rampage which got him five days in the loony bin. Join us for the next case where somebody else is being sued for something else. This is... The Koopa Court.

Dum dum dee da dum dum. Dum dum dum dee da du-

Camerman: SHUT UP!!!