One day at the Koopa Castle, Bowser went out to buy a new car at the local Mushroom-bishi Automobile store, and he had it custom-made especially for himself, it having an automatic flamethrower, Bob-omb cannon, and teslacoil (looks like a metallic tree and shoots electricity in any direction), along with room-for-two comfort and plenty of trunk space, not to mention the digital surround sound features and leather seating; and it only cost him 1,000,000 coins (or should I say, 500,000, because he immediately proceeded to beat the tar out of the car salesman).

When he came home, he showed it off to all his minions at the castle and his seven Koopalings and his wife; he was planning to take Clawdia “out” that night after nightfall, and have some alone time away from the kids… unbeknownst that the children had other ideas…

“I say, we must strike quickly, effectively, and steal, swipe, and otherwise take the said vehicle from- mmmph!” Morton was stopped by a shirt stuffed in the mouth.

“Like Morton said, we’ve got to steal that car!” Iggy shouted.

“I wanna ride in it!” Wendy yelled.

“Well, I propose we pilfer the said enjoyment before Father leaves with Mother,” said Ludwig.

“Tonight!” the Koopalings exclaimed in unison… of course, they didn’t plan to let anyone else get in their ways, even if it meant koopa-cide.

*

That night, all seven Koopalings were out to steal the car…

One Koopaling daringly crept over to the car in the dark of the Koopa Castle Driveway… stupid to be making his way through the dark with something already darkening his eyes… but before he got within 12 feet of the car, he was struck by electricity, shocking him unconscious.

A second Koopaling spied the first, and without even reacting, was killed by another Koopaling, much bigger, meaner, and more intellectual than he was, and by means of a blade of some sort that maimed his cerebellum.

Another Koopaling, who was famous for being one of the tricksters, met his fatality when his weakness cooked him alive and his orb in a single flare.

Then, the Koopaling who had murdered someone approached the Koopa-car, when suddenly a Bob-omb was shot into his hands from the car. He heard someone behind him having a good monologue about the car, and the murderous Koopaling tossed the Bob-omb behind him, blowing up the other Koopaling into a thousand tiny pieces.

Then, another Koopaling walked out of the castle, this one obviously coming prepared with what resembled a flashlight. As the Koopaling approached, the only surviving Koopaling from the earlier conflicts tried to scare this one into submission for an easy kill; suddenly, the flashlight turned into a lightsaber in the newcomer’s hand… moments later, the challenger had slain the previous champion.

Finally, the only other remaining Koopaling walked onto the driveway, whereby the two clashed between a lightsaber and the other’s wand until the wand-holder finally blasted a powerful vapor blast that knocked the daylights out of the Jedi-wannabe, blasting red, yellow, and blue hair off of his head.

Feeling comfortable, the thief drove away in their new luxurious car from the site of the massacre of dead Koopalings, and later that night, was arrested for Grand Theft Auto and thrown in the midst of a fiery dungeon as punishment from the King their father. However, Bowser was tipped off by an anonymous source (at least to the reader), who knew who stole the car…