It was a quiet morning in the castle. The Koopalings were out and about. That is until Bowser roared with a mighty voice. All of the Koopalings immediately came dashing into the castle throne room in a state of surprise.

“What did you yell for?!” questioned a Koopa.

“WHY AM I YELLING?! I TOLD YOU ALL THAT WHEN YOU WAKE UP, GET OVER TO THE THRONE ROOM!”

“Jeez, sorry King Dad,” replied a Koopa with a bow.

“Alright then. Now that I have your undivided attention, I wanted to tell you that we’re going to take those two sorry plumbers out of the picture, permanently. I want all of you to get your weapons, wands, whatever you need to eradicate them. Which ever Koopaling eradicates either of them receives a bonus, not to mention won’t be in the dungeon for punishment. Return in ten minutes ready.” Bowser then sent them away.

So, each of the Koopalings collected their tools:

The heaviest Koopaling grabbed a weapon used for smashing and a white wand.
The oldest grabbed a type of saw and gray wand.
The Koopa who owned a land of mostly H20 grabbed a compact and purple wand.
The sneakiest grabbed an item used for spying and a green wand.
The Koopa nicknamed Hop took a weapon once used by Link and a wand the color of blood.
The Koopa who owned the hottest land and was chatty grabbed a weapon which is used to blind through the ears and an orange wand.
“The Prince of Clowns” grabbed a chilled weapon and a blue wand.

Once the Koopalings were ready, they returned to the throne room on time.

“Are all of you ready?” asked Bowser.

Seven replies came. “Yes King Dad.”

“All right, now that everyone is ready, here’s how it’s gonna go down.”

Bowser told each of them where to go (however, they didn’t listen and decided to go on a free-for-all). Before leaving, the green wand holder switched wands with the purple wand holder; the red wand holder switched with the orange wand holder; the oldest koopa switched wands with the prince of clowns; the remaining Koopa, having a white colored wand, forced a trade of wands with the owner of Pipe Land. Also, the Koopa holding the compact switched their weapon with the most talkative Koopaling’s megaphone.

Finally, after all trades were made. They left the castle and planned for an attack while sailing on the invisible flying doomship.

The first site was Mario’s house, where Mario was happily eating spaghetti with the beloved princess. “I don’t know how-a this could've gone any better,” Mario said to Peach.

Bowser, now getting a view of the Princess, decided to raise the price. “Change of plans! Whoever gets me Mario and Luigi gets three million coins. Whoever kidnaps the princess receives triple that! Anyone who gets all three get 20 million coins! Forget what I said earlier, THIS IS EVERY KOOPA FOR THEMSELVES!!!”

“Oh yeah!” said the Koopa who wore something over his eyes.

“This is just vonderful!” said the oldest Koopaling.

“Humph, too easy,” came from the youngest.

So, Bowser sent them off to do it.

The first Koopaling spied with their telescope behind a bush. Then, just as the first Koopaling was going to use their new violet colored wand on Mario, another Koopaling snuck up behind him. “Burn!” shouted the new Koopaling. The first Koopaling flinched then turned, just as soon as the second Koopaling spit flames on the first Koopaling, burning him and knocking him unconscious. After doing so, he switched his Diamond Saw with the fallen Koopaling’s Telescope.

Another Koopaling with a red wand was going to put makeup from their weapon on his face to scare Mario. Just as soon as he was next to Mario, a rope was hanging from their shell, attached to a hook. “No, my brother, stop, cease, desist-”

The new Koopaling soon pulled the chatty Koopaling in with their weapon, thereafter stuffing their mouth with a cloth. “Shush, or I’ll strangle you!” The gagged Koopaling, realizing that he had nothing to lose, took out their red wand and blasted the Koopaling with the hooked weapon before the new Koopaling could retaliate, shattering their glasses. “I can’t see! If I find my glasses, I’m gonna ki-” The Koopaling was knocked across the face by the red wand holder, knocking him out.

Afterwards, the red wand holder blasted Mario, then used the Hook Shot he recently picked up from the orange wand holder and reeled him in. The Koopaling shouted with glee. Then, a new Koopaling approached with a blunt weapon and knocked the Koopaling out easy. “Ha! This is gonna be so easy.” The new Koopaling picked up Mario and held him over his shoulder.

Meanwhile, an old Koopaling who had knocked out an earlier Koopaling spied with a telescope. “Aha! There you are!” The Koopaling had spotted the princess.

While on his way, a new Koopaling on a ball came with a gray wand and shot the telescope holder but missed. The two Koopalings began shooting each other, blazes of shots flying everywhere. Finally, the new Koopaling said “Freeze!” Just as the words came out his mouth, the telescope holder was a frozen Koopacicle.

The same Koopaling, after freezing their last opponent, froze Luigi. The Koopaling decided to just carry him on his ball. The Koopaling immediately reported to Bowser. The dad was impressed, but said he’d not be getting money 'til he got Mario too. Bowser encouraged him to go out and get Mario, then the princess.

A new Koopaling, missing most the action, found the Koopa carrying Mario. The new Koopa shot with their green wand, missed, and was then taken down by the other Koopaling’s hammer. “Once again, I am, and will always be, victorious,” the Koopaling gloated with pride.

Finally, the last Koopas met each other. The two Koopalings shot each other with their wands. The barely older brother of the two Koopalings grew nigh and stole another fallen koopa’s Hook Shot. “This is for you.” The Koopa shot the Hook Shot straight at the opponent’s back, grasping onto the Koopa’s shell. Then, with his strength, the older Koopaling pulled and knocked the other Koopaling onto the ground. However, the younger Koopaling, who had been tied by the hook’s rope, grabbed his wand and shot the older Koopaling right off their ball. The older Koopaling fell onto the ground. Then the upright Koopaling took their hammer and slew his brother.

“Phew! That was quite a workout! Good thing he was the last of ‘em."

The victorious Koopaling found Princess Peach, froze her with a Freeze Gun just recently picked up, and then carried over Mario and Peach. He had nearly reached the doomship when a fallen Koopa who was furious that they were fried by their eldest brother much earlier that evening took the Diamond Saw that had been left next to them and vented their rage on the other Koopaling. They cut their brother right down the center.

The triumphant Koopaling reached the doomship, told Bowser all that had befallen them, and received 20 million coins for their trouble.