Full Name: Zed Tork
Species: Dry Bones
Age: 266
Position in Trio: The Mistreated One
Physical Description: A green Dry Bones with orange eyes, wearing a slightly tattered brown jacket
Favorite Food: Wine (“It's a food!”)
Favorite Game: Doesn't play games
Favorite Koopaling: Ludwig
Strength: Decent for a skeleton
Intelligence: Far higher than that of the others
Original Home: His mansion
Lemmy's Land Home: DB's studio
Likes: Vacations, beating DB in arguments, and... his green-ness.
Dislikes: DB, Chain Chomps, Dark Boo, explosions, and his boss
Idol: Chargin' Chuck (for making DB explode that one time)
Quote: “I hate you so very much...”

Zed is the unfortunate soul who was unlucky enough to meet DB that one fateful day, when DB had escaped from the clutches of the X-Nauts with all his limbs injured. Taking pity on the purple ghost, Zed decided to help DB with a few Interviews. Little did he know, he was doomed to be stuck in a binding contract with the scheming little specter. For how long, only DB can say.

Out of the three characters, Zed has one of the deepest backstories behind him, a tale of woe, of happiness, of love, of destruction, of hopes, of dreams, and all these things. Seriously, he does. We just can't fit all that detail into a short bio like this. Or we don't want to. Regardless, here's what we will tell you.

Zed died a very long ago, as can be told from his current age. This happened when he, still as a Koopa, had entered Dry Dry Ruins, looking for anything that would be worth a lot of money. And in the process, he found himself killed by a Chain Chomp. From there, he was resurrected with pretty much all of his brain in tact. After that he escaped from the ruins, befriended many Dry Bones, and claimed a mansion on the top of Mt. Rugged for his very own. Many important characters entered his life, including some of the more noteworthy Dry Bones in his manor, a persistent Yoshi that just wouldn't die, and a ghost he wound up falling in love with. And because he’s had to leave all this to help with some crummy interview show, he's unhappy. Not to mention the fact that DB calls all of Zed's backstory a ridiculous lie.

Because of the constant harassment from DB, Zed is almost always in a bad mood. This bad mood is often taken out on people who don't deserve it, and in the end, people think Zed is a jerk. Although Zed and the newest member, Thunk, had a rocky start (no pun intended), Zed doesn't actually have any personal qualms with the Whomp. In fact, he finds Thunk to be much more tolerable than DB. Though to be fair, Zed considers almost everyone more tolerable than DB. After suffering both physical and mental punishment, who can blame him?

Why Zed lets himself be bound to a low-budget show by a barely legal contract is yet another mystery that will last a lifetime. Will he leave and get back to his own life? Probably not anytime soon. We'll let paradoxes take care of it.