"Iggy Koopa", reported by Larry Ventriscosa
"Iggy Koopa", reported by Larry Ventriscosa
“A deranged member of the royal Koopaian family… is usually found inside the basement chamber of the Koopa castle, working on experiments, such as the magic wand… His skin color turned a brilliant shade of white after a chemical explosion caused a extreme type of albinoism. Due to this he never again came outside of the castle, a prisoner of his own passionate, explosive, and radioactive experimentations. He wears large, unpopular lenses, too.” —Brief Bio, by Ludwig V. K.
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Quotes: Not many… but there are some scattered ones caught by Larry V’s security cameras with sound capturing sensors…
“ARRGH! IT’S SO FRUSTRATING!”
“Don’t just help him, STAND THERE!”
“No, wait… That means my molecular density is… ARGK! I’ll die out there!”
And five more that you… um… don’t really want to know.
“Brief” Description
Age: Now? 14. Or so I guess.
Fav. Food: Wwater, air, hydrogen, any type of noble gas (periodic table, on the right…?), but NOT krypton, since it reminds him of his last name. Yes, he is astoundingly unconfident, but has somehow succeeded in the vast majority of his experiments.
Fav. Drink- Water, or liquidized pizzas. He prefers liquidized lemonade without any sugar, with liquidized ice cubes in it… Iggy’ll eat anything that is liquidized, including computers and any type of metal. Of course, NOT element 103 because it’s named after one his most hated brethren.
Fav. TV Shows (IF he watches any, that is): “Nature”, “Live with Regis and Kelly”, and “America’s Got TALENT!!”
Elements Discovered: None!
Most Successful Experiment: The Magic Baton
Fav. Songs: “Standing in Motion” and “After the Sunrise”, both by Yanni. They are good songs! Listen to them on YouTube! No, it’s not rock.
Weight: Why do you want to know?! All right, all right! 0.0000000000001 ounces.
Hates: Almost everyone, even himself, but mostly Clawdia because he blames her for his existence. (He’s half right. You don’t want to know his real father. ARGH! What is THAT?! OKAY! It’s WART the TOAD! Sheesh!)
Death at Age: Based on his diet of just water and gas, a very, very long time.
Love Life: Um... Uh… *reaches for oxygen tank* He likes… uh… Melody Koopa the news reporter. HEEEY! *stalls* Is that a bald eagle?!
Fav. School Subject: Science and Music… Math too?
Full Name: “Iggy” Apoplexy Koopa
Real Name: Apoplexy - “Iggy” is just a nickname made famous by Roy K. This nickname refers to the strange noise that he makes when he is punched in the stomach. (IGGG!!!)
Scientific Name- Koopae X. Koopae Clawdiae X. Koopae Wartiosa cros. “Koopae Lensocum” I’ll explain it for you. “Koopae” identifies Iggy’s species. The X. means that it is a son (‘y’ for daughter) of two other Koopas, which I list. They are Clawdia and Wart. “Cros.” means the final product, or Iggy. So to shorten that, the name becomes “Koopae Lensocum”. And no, I am not a Koopa, but a member of the same species, the Ventriscosaea. I just want to squeeze that in. (Refer to my last name.)
Fav. Type of Music- Like Ludwig K, orchestral. Also likes the sound of rushing water and lite, very very lite, rock.
Fav. Koopaling: I said he hates everyone! Am I clear?
Molecular Density: 0.0000000000001. Yes, he’ll survive anything within the castle, including frequent blows to the stomach… but cannot go outside for some reason. He wears a jetpack to keep himself down on the ground, although he never uses it because it’s too heavy and can already hold him firmly.
Why does Iggy wear glasses? None of the others do… Ahh, I see you have stumbled upon that touchy subject! He wears those because he was attacked by Ludwig with a blinding beam of light when he was one year old. He started wearing contact lenses then… But because of the power of Ludwig’s spell, Iggy’s poor eyesight worsened, until contact lenses needed to be too thick to fit on his eyes! He was then forced to wear a pair of thick, black, and of course ugly glasses… Let’s talk about something else, shall we…? (It’s very strange that none of the Koopas are depicted with ears… If you don’t have ears, how can your lenses balance…?)
Game Appearances…
In Super Mario World, he is of course the first boss, standing there, unconfident, on a tilting platform made out of earth. What an appalling way to die, huh?
In Super Mario Bros. 3, he was the fourth boss, owning the land of giants… Of course he manned a wooden airship that for some reason didn’t burst into flames when Mario’s famous fireballs touched it. In his cabin he jumped around with his most valuable possession, the king’s wand… After 3 blows to the head by Mario, he compressed his body within his shell and headed for the big, white science lab in the sky…
In Yoshi’s Safari Iggy controlled a large, heavily armed mechanism in the shape of the famous Blooper or octopus. Armed with six large cannons, Iggy was still defeated, leaving him disorientated and floating on a small piece of debris with a little piece of his white underwear serving as his defeat flag. Later, George Bush’s fighter jet came down and he found Iggy… That was probably one of the alleged “close encounters” covered up by the government later… How do I know this? Don’t ask.
In Hotel Mario Iggy didn’t have enough power to takeover a hotel… Instead he was the boss “guard” for Bowser in Bowser’s Seizure Palace. In this game Iggy wears a large Bowser mask. He spits fireballs and is also able to summon lightning. After repeated blows to the head (not three) Iggy loses the mask and slowly dissipates into thin air… again, another terrible way to expire. Oh, and if you’re considering a vacation in the Mushroom World, I suggest Bowser’s Seizure Palace. I would rate it a five star with quality food and rooms …
In Mario is Missing he is found in Bowser’s Arctic Fortress, where Luigi encountered and easily defeated him.
His latest appearance will be in New Super Mario Bros. Yes, I am saving up for a Wii… I still need $156...
Physical Body Description: A small Koopaling with brown skin until a horrific accident changed it to white. He wears large, black glasses with strange swirls on them. It is believed that each swirl contains another perspective in them. He has rainbow-colored hair that was also turned white. He has little tiny fangs sticking out of his overbite.
Childhood… Life is UNFAIR…
Apoplexy is the 3rd or 4th child… I don’t really know, but he was born a very small Koopalings at only 2.96 pounds. At age three he was blasted by an array of white light from Ludwig’s wand in an accident (Ludwig was very fond of Apoplexy. From then on he wore contact lenses, but his vision deteriorated and soon there wasn’t a thick enough contact lens for him to wear, so he chose a pair of large, black glasses. Then Roy, seeing the opportunity to scar Apoplexy for life with the fact that he wore those ridiculous things, bombarded Apoplexy with so many names that it sent the Koopaling half mad… Then, unfortunately, Roy learned about the art of punching, annihilation, and devastation. With this newly mastered skill, Roy battered everything in the castle, from Bowser’s wedding ring to his own head. Soon he moved on to punching the other Koopalings. Then the name “Iggy” was born. This nickname is really the sound Apoplexy makes when punched in the stomach, with a “y” added to it.
Driven from cute little Koopaling with no eye problems to a staggering, pale, lens-wearing, maddened scientist-like character in just 6 short years, Iggy escaped the death grip, or should I say punch, of Roy, and made his way into the basement. There he locked himself within the castle’s laundry room, only coming out once in a year, no matter how many times Bowser and Clawdia begged for him to come out. Due to a science experiment gone wrong, he turned himself into an albino. Even with the resources from the powerful washing machines in the room, Iggy still didn’t have enough power to reverse that experiment. After this Iggy began to hate everyone that he knew, blaming them for his ruined childhood. In his anguish he cried himself into a restless, revengeful sleep night after night. Then one day Ludwig, Iggy’s last role model, disappeared to Earth for more knowledge. That pretty much made Iggy give up on his life. His last experiment was a pill that allowed Iggy to fall into an everlasting type of “dormancy”. Then he stopped his experimentation and threw away every one of his experimental results except for the diminutive bottle of sleeping pills. The rest, in Iggy’s demented mind, was a large blank…
He remained in this dormant state for another 5 years until… One day the door to the laundry room, shut for so many years, opened, and in came a familiar figure, Ludwig, with me by his side of course. With my expanded brain capacity I read Iggy’s mind, which told of revenge against the Bowser family. This I told to Ludwig; and strangely, he approved. He told me that even though his was the oldest, he was constantly exposed to Roy’s fights, Larry’s high-pitched screaming, Wendy’s occasional fits, and Lemmy’s babbling Iggy had been the only decent one until the others drove Iggy mad, too. Ludwig hated them all… and promised them all a painful death that would be delivered with the most hilarious weapon ever made: the Nuclear Patio and Potato Launchers. As we were about to leave, Ludwig shot a beam of light from his wand at Iggy, changing his skin color. He also cast a spell that would enable Iggy to wake in the next 5 hours. I wrote him a note to run away the day of July 4th, the Earth’s Independence Day. That would be the day of the “execution”. We then teleported back to Atlantis.
Upon waking, Iggy found my note, and ran, ran so far away… After the “execution” Ludwig sent me to pick up Iggy and take him to Atlantis with only me, two clones of Ludwig, and his role model. How could he resist? I taught him teleportation… the rest is history… After his arrival at the Stargate of Atlantis, Ludwig quickly cured his insanity, letting the little part of his decent self takeover. Ludwig then gave him infinite life and youth... What a good life, eh? (The childhood? Not so much…)
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