Toadmon JR: You mon, if you're reading dis, den you must of got it from Larry, right? Dis is me autobiography! Read and learn the facts and tings about me, mon! So do try to get a tighter grip on who I am!

Name: You know who I am mon, Toadmon JR!
Age: 66 in Toad years. I know, I'm old.
Notable Appearances: Vyucs' Interviews and Scribbles.
First Appearance: The Odd Fruit
Birthplace: On de sunny side of Jolly Roger Bay.
Height: 1.4 feet tall.
Weight: I'm not ashamed to admit me weight, 7 pounds!
Interests: De sea, ahhh... Oh, and crabs!
Unsightly Things: Mario, Koopas, dead-tings, and cities.
Favorite Food: Grilled Trouter! Best when caught fresh.
Least Favorite Food: Mushrooms, very canabal-like, mon.
Favorite School Subject: When I was young, it was history.
Friends: Grubby, Vyucs, Luigi, and ugghh... Mario! I guess...
Enemies: Bowser, Koopalings, Wario, Waluigi.
Appearance: A black Toad who wears a purple outfit and sunglasses.

Okay, now for de tiring part. I'm not much of a social Toad, meaning you won't see me out in de open dat much. If you're wondering what keeps dat old fatty Mario alive, it's ME mon! Ever since he got dumbafied, I was hired to watch out for him, and my payment is usually nothing but 4 coins and a lollipop a day. But one time dat idiot ruined me for a month, I trew a party, right? And I invited everyone in Toad Town, right? Mario just went right along and ate everything in sight! Dat made me real mad! But when Mario or someting else that is just as bad happens to me, then I'll go by the beach every chance I get. De sea, just being near the threshold calms me soul...

So now you got a clearer idea on what I'm like an such, so thanks for reading and special tanks goes to me enemy who I signed a 5-minute truce with, Larry Koopa! Farewell mon, and tanks again!

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